PA Day 2 - Primitive Medicine, Prisons, and Primo Comedy
Today ended up being an accidentally thematically dark day of museum going.
I started out by going to the Mutter Museum. Housed in a historic building the Mutter is a collection of medical oddities and history. it was fascinating, but definitely not for the faint of heart. I have never seen so many embalmed fetuses in one room before and I hope that continues to be true. The historical medical instruments were truly terrifying and archaic, but really painted an impressive portrait of the progress we've made. There was also a series of exhibits highlighting real disorders that likely inspired monsters and events in different fairytales which was super interesting. Perhaps the most impressive and also disgusting thing there was the world's largest colon. The man lived to the age of 29 with a colon that was over 8 feet long and filled with 40 pounds of waste. My personal favorite thing in the museum was Chevalier Jackson's collection of 1000s of items he as a surgeon removed from people's stomachs. With all the medical abnormalities on display, the museum really makes you appreciate what a big stroke of luck being born mostly healthy in a place with up to date medical equipment is. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to take any pictures, but maybe that's for the best. As hard to look at as a lot of the stuff in there is, the museum is definitely worth checking out because it's not stuff you're gonna see anywhere else and it's curated really well to maximize the educational, social, and historical aspects of every item.
While I didn't have much appetite after the mutter, I did get some coffee at Nook Coffee. They do a Kyoto style iced coffee, which has a bit more caffeine and flavor. It was very good and the staff was really friendly about telling me jokes
After that I went to eastern state penitentiary the first penitentiary ever. It was created after a number of politicians and so-called enlightened thinkers realized that the current prison was cruel and ineffectual. There goal was to create a space where criminals could become penitent. They modeled the cells after monasteries believing that isolation and silence would bring people closer to God and their own better natures. Their intentions were very humane with the most technologically advanced heating and plumbing of any building at the time, but they also accidentally created a prison with only solitary confinement so a lot of the people there went crazy. They did eventually allow prisoners to interact and socialize and it held a number of famous criminals including Al Capone before it became unsustainable to supply heat and water for such an old building. The best part about being there though was that the audio tour was narrated by none other than Steve Buscemi. There's something oddly reassuring about his voice even when it's talking about large scale human rights violations. The tour also included some testimonies from actual guards and inmates which was cool, and the museum aspect included a few powerful art installations and some sobering statistics about the US prison system compared to the rest of the world. Long story short, private prisons and voter rights restrictions probably haven't helped things much.
After the prison and the premies, I was in desperate need of some lighter fare which was good because my friends from college improv Sam and Gus happened to be in Philadelphia filming videos for an educational company they work for. It was great to catch up and try on weird clothes at a hipster thrift store (sidebar: I don't understand how value works when ugly used sweatshirts can cost over $100). They graduated two years before me but it felt like no time had passed at all. We all got dinner at Sweetgreen which is a chain but I'd never been before. I'm not normally a salad person if that hasn't been clear from my food intake thus far but I found out I like salads a lot more if I like every ingredient in them and they're not drizzled in dressing I don't like. I got portobellos and chicken with chickpeas broccoli and kale in a pesto dressing it was pretty dang tasty
After dinner, it was time to head to the open mic. I went to Paddy Whack's Irish Bar, and found out that I was about an hour early for the mic but it was a nice bar so that was alright. As comics started trickling in, I got to chat with a number of them about upcoming mics, general comedy things, and underground hip hop. The Philadelphia scene continued to be totally friendly and welcoming.
The mic itself was really fun. There was no separation between the comedians and the audience, so it was pretty lively.
I think my personal favorite of the night was a guy named Matt Burns. He had been at the mic at Ortlieb's as well, and he actually didn't change up his material a whole lot, but something about him having five minutes as opposed to three let him hit every beat much more strongly and link ideas even better. It was a testament to his writing and delivery that the material really landed, because it was all pretty dark, covering topics from bestiality, suicide, and Bill Cosby. My favorite line of his was "The one thing that white people might be the best at is suicide. White people are so good at suicide, they can do it while they masturbate."
My favorite line of the night was from a guy named Casey Kuftic who's day job was as a teacher: "I noticed that students fight for different reasons. Boys fight to preserve some kind of masculinity, and girls fight to make someone die." Another line that really killed me because it was so on the fly was when the host of the second half, Maddie McLennon came up to start hosting with an entire pitcher of beer: "Do you guys like prop comedy? *laughs* I wish I had a prop."
My own set was one of the best ones I've had. I did my mayonnaise jokes and the shorter dirtier jokes and they really landed. I felt really loose and being so close to the audience kept things fun and interesting. It was much lighter end to the day after the darker morning.
Favorite Random Sightings: Hey! Hummus; A Woman Being Super Nice to a Stranger and Giving Him Her Extra Parking Ticket Because There Was Still Time On It; Fink's Hoagies
Regional Observations: Philadelphia is much easier to drive through and find Parking spaces than D.C., but parking is so much more expensive.
Albums Listened To: Fifth Album by Judy Collins; Fifth Dimension by the Byrds
People's Favorite Jokes:
A boy and his father are camping in the woods. The father warns the boy, "There are lots of animals here, and the one thing that you can't do when you see an animal is scream". The boy says, "I've got it." The boy starts walking around, while the dad is building a campfire. Suddenly he comes running over screaming. The dad says, "What did I tell you?" "I know dad," the boy says, "When I saw a bear, I didn't scream. When I saw a snake, I didn't scream. But then these two squirrels crawled into my pants, and I heard one of them say, 'Do you want to eat these now, or take them home for later?'"
Song of the Day:
What a bad ass
