New York Day 1- Superhero Supplies, Robot Churches, and Key Lime Pie: Walkin' Around Brooklyn
Today started with a cup of coffee from Breukelen Coffee House. I'll say that there coffee is much better than their spelling, and it was a cool artsy place to sit around in. The downside is that this is definitely the start of a trend I've notice where coffee in NYC is good, but more expensive and in smaller portions than coffee just about anywhere else.
Fueled up, I started walking around Brooklyn. The weather was perfect for walking around (which is a little disconcerting in October but oh well) and after spending so much time in my car lately, it was really nice to be out and moving.
I peeked at the Botanical Gardens and Brooklyn Museum but both were closed unfortunately while I was there.
I did get to walk through Prospect Park which was beautiful. The weird thing was I walked by a playground in the park and the only people there were body builders and toddlers which was a fun group to see hanging out with one another.
I got lunch around the corner from the park at a place called Gnarly Eats. I had great burger jam packed with toppings and not over $10, which is super not guaranteed in the city. Between this trip and other times I've been to NYC i've seen a lot of $15+ burgers, and they're not bad but not worth it. This one on the other hand was perfectly cooked, slathered with bacon, and on a real nice potato bun all for the same price as a burger from any mid-level chain restaurant. I also really liked getting to talk to the cashier because he's from the Ukraine, and he said he used to do stand up over there, but that they censored all the material so he didn't like it much. It was so interesting to get to learn about.
After lunch I went to a place called the Superhero Supply Store. The storefront offers the list of services they offer to local superheroes including sidekick trainings, and when you walk in their is a devillainizer just to be on the safe side. All the items sold in the store had a hilarious attention to detail and ranged from outfits to made up secret identity kits. I personally bought a can of Chutzpah just in case I ever need any. The best part about this wacky little store is that it's all for a good cause. Behind a secret doorway is a room filled with books and tables where schoolchildren can get help with reading and writing and all the proceeds from the store go to support these and similar after school programs. It's hard not to fall in love with the place.
After stocking up for any potential run-ins with super villains (they do always seem to go for New York), I walked up to the Red Hook neighborhood of Brooklyn to see an old church that had been taken over by artists and filed with robot musicians. On weekends the robot band gives public performance, filling the void left by the end of Chuck E. Cheese's cybernetic house band. I would love to see them in action but it was still just cool seeing what had been done with the space.
I kept walking around Red Hook and my eye was caught by a place called Widow Jane Distillery which seemed dedicated to making both artisan chocolate and spirits. Everything looked really good but I didn't actually end up sampling their wares because it was fairly expensive and still barely after noon.
I did however sample the wears of Steve's Authentic Key Lime Pies. A local favorite, they claim that while key lime pies were invented in Florida, they were perfected there in Brooklyn. I ordered for myself a Swingle, a chocolate covered 4" frozen key lime pie tart on a stick, and a regular small key lime pie for my friends partly because I am a great house guest and mostly because I needed to hit the credit card minimum. I can't really say I was a connoisseur of key lime pies before this, but my swingle was amazing and it really perfectly hit the spot in the unseasonably warm weather.
After dropping off the little key lime pie and taking a brief nap back at my friend's apartment, I took the metro up to Manhattan for my first NYC open mic at a place called Iggy's Bar. Before I got to the mic though, I stopped for a quick slice of NY style pizza at Little Vincent's Pizzeria. It was cheap, cheesy, greasy and delightful. To wash down the pizza and wake myself up for the mic, I got a small coffee from Joe Coffee (the number of time my name occurs as a coffee pun is truly staggering). It was a hip little spot on the Upper East side, but again kinda expensive for the size of the coffee. Really nice cashiers though.
The open mic was a lot of fun. Iggy's is a cool bar, and the stage area is a good size for stand up- big enough that you could get a decent audience but small enough that it still feels kinda intimate. They do ask that you buy a drink at the bar if you're performing, so I tried a Coney Island Mermaid Pilsner which I quite liked.
I thought it was a very consistently strong mic. People were definitely trying out new stuff, so not everything was landing, but you could feel like there was a good amount of talent in the room. I wish I had stayed longer honestly, because I left to try to make another mic, but I felt like I would have had a good time there if I'd stayed.
My personal favorite comic of the mic was a guy named Eric Wood who told a great story about peeing next to Jamie Foxx at a bar in Florida. It'd be a little too long to transcribe but every part of his telling it was funny. The highlight was definitely Jamie Foxx replying to the question, "Are you Jamie Foxx?" with "Oh You know I'm Jamie Foxx."
Some other highlights included a line from a guy named Patrick Haggerty: "My friend said, 'Oh I was so sick last night, I had 15 beers.' I don't think it was the beer, I think it was 15 of anything" and my personal favorite line was from a comic who's name I didn't quite catch: "Hey fellas have you ever been taking off your girlfriend's panties... because she was coming home any minute"
My own set went pretty well. I don't think it was my best, but I got a decent number of laughs so I didn't feel bad about it either.
After my set I hopped back on a train to Brooklyn because I thought there was going to be a mic at a place called the Topaz that I'd be cutting it kind of close for. Turns out the mic was actually moved to Wednesday so I could've gone with out rushing. It was a nice bar though, a little pricey for me but fun to hang out in. I met my friend Nina (the same Nina from the 70 horses) and her friend Lily there. We had a few drinks and then planned on going to a late night mic at the Creek and the Cave in Queens.
The Creek and the Cave is a cool venue. They host comedy shows every night, and they have a few different rooms going at any one time, as well as a bar and pinball machines which I avoided because of the last time when I got hooked on them.
While the venue was really cool, the mic the three of us went to was pretty rough. I think 11pm on a Monday isn't the best time to see any kind of show because everyone is either tired, drunk, or both. I got the feeling that most of the comics knew each other, and they were kinda just messing around. There were a lot of bits that felt pretty improvised, which wasn't necessarily bad, but didn't really give a great representation of how the comics would normally be.
I didn't end up performing because it was a lottery and it started getting pretty late, but Nina and Lily both went up and did really well. Even if she hadn't been my friend, I feel like I could confidently say Nina had the strongest set of the night. She told a story about a doctor telling her she had "dense breasts", which I'd heard before from stand up shows we did together, but I think it's only gotten better.
I was also a little bit drunk at that point in the night, because I was excited to not have to be conscious of driving home, so my notes for the other comics are basically illegible. The one other joke I remember really liking was by a woman named Rachel who said, "Being a lesbian dating a bisexual feels like a deaf person dating her sign language instructor."
After the mic, I got a little bit drunk and lost in Brooklyn with a dead phone because I mixed up the G train and the 6 train because I am a child. I found my home okay, but the funny thing that happened was I saw a taxi at a McDonald's and thought that whatever it cost it might be better than being lost to take a taxi. So I made some cool finger guns at the driver thinking that was a clear sign that I was hoping for a ride. He made finger guns back at me, so I felt like the message was received loud and clear. But then when I tried to get in the cab, he started driving with the door open and yelling "What the hell are you doing?" so I'm willing to bet that maybe I misread that situation.
Favorite Random Sightings: Vintage Garb for Man, Woman, and Beast; Curry!; Monkeyboy Construction; Giggle: Happy. Health. Baby. ( I have no idea what this place was)
Regional Observation: I literally don't think I saw one white guy in Brooklyn who didn't have either Flannel or a styled facial hair. Some regional stereotypes are real.
Albums Listened To: Free The Based Freestyle Mixtape by Lil B and Chance the Rapper; The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan by Bob Dylan; Fresh by Sly and the Family Stone (just If You Want Me to Stay); Fresh Blood by Matthew E. White; Friend or Foe? by the Forces of Evil; Frizzle Fry by Primus (just John the Fisherman); From Kingston to Memphis by the Snails; Full Force Gailesburg by the Mountain Goats; Fun House by the Stooges; The Funches of Us by Ron Funches (I love his stand up, but I looked like a maniac laughing to myself on the subway)
People's Favorite Jokes:
"I know some good ones but they're al in Russian so I don't think they'll work"
Guess what? Chicken Butt
Two Peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Song of the day:
I like that there was a point where Bob Dylan didn't take himself so seriously and could just be fun and silly.
