NY Day 4- Comedy, Columbia, and Contemporary Art
Today I got to spend most of the day with one of my best friend's from high school, who is currently getting his Ph.D at Columbia in Seismology. I've known him since second grade, and as long as I've know him he's had a big heart for his family, friends, and rocks. I have only met a handful of people who just really love geology, but the majority of them have also been as genuinely kind as Chris so I guess he is in good company. It makes me so happy to see my friend get to pursue his passion at the highest imaginable level. A lot of our talk over the day was on how lucky we both feel, because in general our expectations for our own futures as (admittedly hard-working and smart) kids from a pretty small town have already been greatly exceeded. Our high school guidance counselors actually even kind of discouraged us from applying to the school's we ended up going to because "kids from Rockland don't usually get in there". If our parents and teachers hadn't been a bit more optimistic (and maybe a little bit pushy at times), we might never have even applied to the places where we were lucky enough to thrive and get great opportunities from. I have no doubt that Chris would have done great things wherever he went (I have a few doubts about me but I'm sure I would have been fine too), but it makes you wonder how different big things could be if even smaller decisions along the way were different.
But I digress from this lengthy tangent. Where are the pictures of greasy foods? Where are the pithy observations? Well don't worry they're coming.
I started by getting coffee at Bluestone Coffee Lane. They supposedly have one of the best breakfasts or brunches in NYC, but the line was long so I settled for just coffee so I could get to my friend faster. I enjoyed it quite a bit and it's literally across the street from Central Park (at least one them is I think there are multiple locations) so it's a convenient stop for a pick me up if you're doing some sightseeing.
Columbia's campus is on the Upper West Side, and the friends' apartment I was staying with is on the Upper East Side, and, this should not have been a big surprise to me, but Central Park happens to be the center between those two points in Manhattan. It might be one of the most quintessential tourist destinations in the world, but the Park really is stunning even on a dreary rainy day, and I'm glad I got to trek across it.
I made it through the park with much fewer encounters with Pigeon Ladies than Home Alone 2: Lost in New York would have you believe. In the North West Corner of the park, I was able to meet my buddy and give him the geode I bought at the Crystal Cave in PA. I hope it's a good one.
Chris and I went to get lunch, and in my case brunch. Along the way we passed by Chris' favorite statue. It's in a little park with smaller sculptures by children from local school's and it's intended to celebrate children's literature but it's such a strange mish mash of different animals and fantasy creatures. I loved it.
The place we went to lunch at is called The Heights. It was incredible! Everything on the lunch menu from burgers to burritos to pasta was just $7.95, the portions were positively gigantic, everything was delicious, and most importantly the frozen margaritas come in pint glasses. I got a pork burrito and a beer, and Chris got a burger and margarita. We were both thoroughly satisfied, and Chris says that at night when the weather is nice they open up the rooftop bar, and it's a great place to go for happy hours after class.
After a lovely meal Chris showed me around his campus. There's some stunning views of the city, great old, brick buildings, and, most excitingly for me, the steps where scenes from the movie Ghostbusters were filmed. Very few movies have had as big an impact on me as that original Ghostbusters, and I still believe it to be one of the greatest comedies ever made. I was very appreciative of Chris letting me indulge my inner fanboy, but that's what friends are for and I hope he knows I would do the same for him.
Also a treat for traveling comedy nerds on the Upper West Side was Tom's Restaurant, whcih served as the exterior for Monk's Cafe from Seinfeld. Legends say that you can still 90's bass lines whene'er you pass it by.
After my impromptu campus tour, Chris and I went to Greenwich Village because neither of us had been before, and my friend Dan recommended some mics up there. We got coffee and cookies at a place called the Roasting Plant. They have their own special coffee roasting machine called the Javabot, which is big and impressive and makes good coffee. The cookies were pretty darn good too, but I didn't think to take a picture.
Dan met us there after an afternoon mic he went to, and showed us around the Village. My dad might begrudge the fact that there isn't still the thriving folk music scene he remembers when he used to sneak on a bus there in the 60's, but it's still a really hip area. Lots of cool shops, restaurants, and art galleries. It's also home to the Comedy Cellar, one of the most famous comedy clubs in the world, so that was really cool to get to see. Another less famous but still kinda famous club called the Grisly Pear is there as well, and was featured in the new HBO show Crashing. Dan says they've kinda let it go to their heads though and they've started charging more for comics to perform there. That's a little lame, but as a big Pete Holmes fan I was still excited to see it.
We also got to all go to a cool comic book store called Carmine Street Comics. I used to share my comics with Chris in High School, so it was nice to get to bond about them again, thought it was a reminder that I am super behind on all the series I use to read. Apparently the store also runs mics most days, some of which have some pretty out there themes that I would have liked to have seen.
The mic was at a bar called the Village Lantern. They had a great stage, and some nice happy deals, but I was a minute late so the host wouldn't let me put my name in the lottery, and I had to wait to go on at the very end. That wouldn't have been so bad, but it was also a pretty rough mic, so the comics that went before me scared off any audience there would have been and then left so I only performed in front of maybe three other people besides Chris and the host.
I felt bad that this was the mic Chris came to see. Dan says it's a good place, and the early mic he went to was there as well and he said it was fine so I guess it was just bad luck more than a bad venue. I say that this particular mic was rough, because, while I'm maybe not the most politically correct person in the world, there are only so many times you can hear the words "cunt", "faggot", and "retard" before you get really worn down. For some people that number is only one time. I am of the George Carlin school of thought that there are no "bad" words, but I do think there are certainly charged words that are attached to a lot of bad memories for a lot of people, so you should probably be at least half as funny and smart as George Carlin if you want to use them (or British, oddly enough at least two of those three mentioned have totally different connotations over there). When your lame bit about dating is bombing, so you decide to call the girl a cunt that doesn't really count as either smart or funny, but it sure did happen a lot. I feel like at some mics I've been to the host will intercede if things get pretty bad, but in this case he was one of the worst offenders so it didn't really happen. I really can't stress enough that I don't think there should be censorship of ideas or language in comedy, but a modicum of self-awareness really can only help.
Case in point though, the funniest comic of the bunch (unfortunately I didn't get his name) was also pretty filthy, even making jokes about child molestation (a very charged subject if ever there was one), but he was genuinely funny and his bits were well-written and clever so it was much easier to enjoy. My favorite line of his: "I'm single, but I already look like I like watching other dudes fuck my wife".
The other line I liked a lot came from a guy named Pasha Reubens: "In Iran, if gay couple wants to get married the government will make one of them get a gender reassignment surgery. Imagine being so homophobic that you end up believing in gender fluidity."
My own set didn't go over great, because there wasn't anyone there. But I managed to eke out a few laughs so it wasn't a completely bombed set which was nice.
After the set, Chris and I recovered from the open mic by getting gelato at a place called Grom. I got coconut and chocolate chips and Chris got a lemon sorbet. I think he enjoyed his, and mine was one of the best I'd ever had.
the New Museum of contemporary art, because on Thursdays it's pay what you want after 7. I'm glad we didn't have to pay the full price, because it definitely had all the things that people think of when they think stereotypical contemporary art, but there was also some really cool things. My personal favorites were a completely imagined world of bird and tree sculptures called Ru by Petrit Halilaj and a series of really intricately multi-layered paintings by an artist named Helen Johnson.
After the museum, I said a fond farewell to Chris and made my way back up to the Upper East Side. Dan and Mike were both off being hip 20 something's in the big city so I decided to try to find a cool bar in the area to chill out at. I discovered Earl's Beer and Cheese and was very glad I did. It's a cozy little bar, with a weird mix of fancy and casual aesthetics. There were people in suits talking about doing cocaine, but also people in Jets sweatshirts just hanging out after work. The place specialized in beer and cheese (very unsurprisingly) and also wine (still pretty not surprising), but all three were very good. I started with a mocha stout from Modern Times Beer in San Diego and the beer cheese plate. The cheese plate came with eight massive, beautifully grilled pieces of bread, garlic, and a house made cheese spread made from a combination of beer, cheddar, and spices. It was the perfect pub food to share, and not a bad dinner if you eat it all by yourself. By not bad, I mean it tasted amazing, I'm sure in terms of nutritional value it was in fact very bad for me. After the meal, I cooled myself down with a glass of the house white, which I greatly enjoyed. I think it was actually cheaper than the beer too, but everything was very affordable given how fancy it all was. All told the two drinks and the cheese plate was a little under $20 which is pretty impressive based of the only other times I've been to bars that could be called wine and cheese bars.
From the bar, I met up with Dan at the tail end of the pub trivia he was hanging out at with his girlfriend and his sister. I got there just for the last few questions, but the team won so even though I didn't answer anything I feel like I helped. Not bad to end the night feeling like a winner.
Favorite Random Sightings: Larry's Freewheeling; House of Oldies; Big Gay Ice Cream; Spaghetto
Regional Observations: During happy hour, beer is literally cheaper than coffee in NYC.
Albums Listened To: Garage Swim by Various Artists (free compilation from Adultswim); Gaylist 08 (just Gay Rude Boys Unite by Leftover Crack, one of the finest gay ska-punk anthems I know of); Get Disowned by Hop Along.
People's Favorite Jokes:
Why do you call your favorite girl a plateau? Because it's the highest form of flattery
My Life
"I really like that new show Big Mouth. I particularly lost it at the last line of the first episode when the kid says, 'Are you the hormone fairy?' and the monster says 'Whoah I fuck with little boys but I'm no fairy'" (weird line out of context but I was excited to meet another fan of the show).
Song of the Day:
