Virginia Day 1 - Battlefields and Bowling Alleys
Today I started out by taking in some of Virginia's major natural resource, Civil War Historical Sites. My cousins took me to see the site of the Battle of Chancelorville, which at one time was host of the bloodiest battle of the entire war but now it's a beautiful state park and museum.
The museum was really well done. There were lots of authentic artifacts from the battle and the time period, as well as some pretty snazzy models and recreations. The real highlight though isn't so much the exhibits but all the stories associated with the war in general and the battle specifically. This was the battle where Stonewall Jackson had his greatest military success for the Confederacy, but was then fatally shot by one his own troops when he was coming home at night. It's also where trench warfare was invented out of necessity, though at one point because it was night time Robert E. Lee's men built all their trenches in the complete wrong spot which I thought was a pretty funny statement on the lack of technology we take for granted such as night lights and GPSs. Besides the major moments and players, there was also a lot of attention given to the stories of individual soldiers and other lay people from the surrounding area. One guy was shot there, and then was sent to Gettysburg where he was also shot making him one of the unluckiest people I have ever read about.
After the museum, the history train kept rolling when went to visit the house where Stonewall Jackson died, which has since been taken into the custody of the National Parks service. The Park Ranger was really informative, and told us a ton of interesting facts about the last days of Stonewall Jackson's life. Let's just say between the bloodletting, the mix of opiates and whiskey and expurgating drugs, and the sweltering heat, I'm very grateful for advancements in modern medicine. The tour guide also said that he believed that had Jackson lived the South probably still would have lost the war, because in popular history the entire Western Theater of the war is largely ignored and that was what was really strangling the South's resources.
After working up an appetite hiking through history, we all went to the Colonial Tavern, which housed the Irish Brigade, a troupe of Irish Soldiers who gave their lives fighting the Confederacy. In true Irish fashion, they are honored in the best possible way, with lots of meat, potatoes, and beer. I ordered the Shepard's Pie, and I was thoroughly satisfied. Perfect pub food, and I'd never had cheese put on top but I was into it.
After lunch, we got soft serve at Carl's Frozen Custard, supposedly the best ice cream in Fredericksburg despite actually being frozen custard. Because of my dairy cream experience, I can be a bit of a soft-serve snob, but in this case Carl's really cut the custard (kill me now). They only have three flavors: strawberry, chocolate, and Vanilla, but they do 'em damn well. And they were just six days away from closing for the winter, so I felt really lucky I got to try it,
After ice cream, I thanked my cousins for a great day and began my trek down to Virginia Beach for the first open mic of the week. I made a brief pit stop to fuel up at Hyperion Espresso. They had a really nice decor and atmosphere and a mean cold brew, but I did not really get to stay too long to enjoy it because VA Beach was about a three hour drive away.
The mic was at a place called Pinboys, which came recommended by a comedian I met in D.C. who is from the area. It's called Pinboys, because it also happens to be in a bowling alley. Luckily, it's in a little lounge/bar area so the comedians didn't have to talk over the clatter of bowling pins.
Because I was too cautious, I ended up getting there a bit too early so I just contented myself by playing the bowling alley arcade games, namely a weird Storm Chasers themed pinball machine. There were spinning plates in the middle that would simulate a tornado and mess with your ball!
The mic ended up bing small but fun with only six comics and the host, but a few non-comics filling out for a decent sized audience. The biggest treat for me personally was that one of my best friends from childhood, Sean, who is now in the Navy stationed in Virginia was able to come through. Sean only lived three streets up from me, and we used to spend hours riding our bikes, playing football on the lawn, making prank phone calls, and generally getting up to all kinds of mischief. We sort of lost touch in middle school and high school, not out of any falling out but just in the way being arbitrarily put in different homerooms ends up giving you different friend groups. Despite not having seen each other for years, it was like no time had passed and we were both a little surprised by how easily names and stories we hadn't thought about for ever started coming back. It was really great getting to see him.
The comedy was a bit of a mixed bag, with a few people who I thought were very good, but also some people doing really rough material. I don't get why people seem to grasp that rape jokes are generally viewed as insensitive but then think prison rape jokes are totally fine. What I'm trying to say is there were a lot of prison rape jokes, and they weren't my favorite. I will say that as premises of the jokes could have led to some pretty clever social commentary about prison and gender dynamics, and that comic definitely had flashes of that cleverness but then the punchlines didn't really extend beyond someone getting raped in prison, which isn't the strongest laugh line in the world.
My favorite comic of the night was a guy named Vaughan Michael who did a bit about having a therapist who stutters and how normally he wouldn't mind that but that it sucks when you're paying someone by the hour. That killed me. I was also very impressed by a guy named Don Hughes who did a set about a lot of darker topics including the recent death of his younger sister. He was a great example of someone who was able to do really risky jokes and almost always stick the landing. He was definitely a more polished comic trying new stuff, and I hope he keeps building on the set about his sister because I think it could be very powerful. The host, Tyrell Shackelford, also did a really good job keeping things light and fun.
My own set went pretty well. I ended up going first so I didn't have any real chance to read the room, so I just went for it, hoped for the best, and was pleasantly greeted with a warm reception. I must have made a better impression than I realized though, because at the end of the night there was a vote for the best comic of the show and I ended up winning $25 which was just an incredible feeling. I had a bit of a leg up because Sean was visiting me so that was at least one vote, but at least one guy from the bar came up and told me who voted for me, so hopefully that will bode well for the rest of Virginia.
After the mic, I ended up spending almost all of that sweet prize money going out drinking and carousing with Sean, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
Favorite Joke of the Night: Don Hughes- "Have you ever dated a sub-par wiper? Someone who really doesn't just get up in there? *pause for audience to be a little grossed out* Then again I really should be wiping myself at this age"
Favorite Random Sightings: The Mad Crab: Casual Male XL; These license plate: EPASUX, STUBBY1, and EEEGADZ
Regional Observation: People could smoke in bars in Virginia Beach, and I haven't seen people smoking inside a building that wasn't a casino or a house in a long time. I bet people much younger than me probably don't remember smoking sections in restaurants at all. I can't say I really miss them though. I don't mind it in others, but I really hate smoking personally. I don't know what the laws are that allow it in VA Beach though, because I thought that was national not state by state?
Albums Listened To: Illinois by Sufjan Stevens (Great album, minus that one song about John Wayne Gacy that is way too creepy for repeat listens); Illmatic by Nas (an album so good that Nas is frequently ranked as one of the greatest rappers of all time, despite nobody ever really talking about anything else he made); Imani Vol. 1 by Blackalicious (a mix of incredible rapping and super cheesy R&B, make this a very uneven but enjoyable ride)
People's Favorite Jokes:
"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You say see you later alligator, and in a while crocodile. *bit of a pause* I'm really sorry that's all I could think of that was appropriate"
Song of the Day:
