OH Day 2- Chili, Challenging Fashion, and Chilling Stand Up: Halloween and Cincinnati
I started today by getting coffee at Fox in the Snow Cafe. I was immediately impressed that the entire staff had dressed up for Halloween, with my favorite costume easily being Weird Al Yankovich. I ordered a New Orleans styled ice coffee, which is made with chicory and cane sugar. It was delicious, and I didn't order any but their baked goods looked phenomenal.
After the coffee, I drove to Cincinnati. The only time I'd ever been there before was as a really young child on a layover to visit family in Vegas. I was throwing a temper tantrum I needed a diaper change but I didn't want one so I just yelled that I couldn't get a diaper change because "there are no bathrooms in Cincinnati". It was a cunning gambit, but one that did not ultimately pay off. It did however become one of the stories my liked to tell at parties a lot. While I cannot confirm or deny whether or not there actually were bathrooms there 15 years ago, I can confidently say that the city has installed them in the intervening years in case anyone was worried.
The first thing I did in the city was go to Skyline Chili, a local chain that came highly recommended. I ordered the Famous Three-Way, a mound of spaghetti covered in chili and cheddar cheese. I never would have thought that chili and spaghetti would go so well together, but I guess it really is basically just a thicker meat sauce. It was truly spectacular, and the portions were gigantic for under $10. It definitely lived up to the hype.
After lunch, I went to the Cincinnati Art Museum, which has a giant statue of Pinocchio out front and is always free. The first floor of the museum is a combination of antiquities, the history of art from Cincinnati, and special galleries.
One special exhibit that really knocked my socks off was an install by South African artist, William Kentridge, called More Sweetly Play the Dance. It featured 8 paneled screens projecting a video of a strange funeral procession over animations by the artist and music performed by local brass bands. Normally I have a tough time getting into video pieces in museums because of the time commitment required, but I watched all 15 minutes of this one because I couldn't look away. The music was incredible, the choreography was stunning, and the animation was haunting. It was beautiful, sad, fun, thoughtful and funny, modern and traditional. I really don't think I can do it justice.
Another highlight of the first floor was a collection of pottery by two revival women in Cincinnati who in their efforts to be thought of as the best potter in the city ended up coming up with revolutionary techniques of pot coloring and production. It was a really fun story and the vases that came out of it were visual and technical marvels.
A big thing that naturally caught my eye was one of the museum's prized possession: one of the only giant murals commissioned to be done by my dude Joan Miro.
The last special exhibit on the first floor was a series of bizarre and beautiful mixed media sculptures and ceramics by an artist named Ana England.
The big special exhibit on the second floor was on innovative fashion designer Iris Van Herpen. She uses 3D printing and other modern technologies to create really far out dresses. The museum kind of framed her work as fashion challenging definitions of art, but to my untrained eye it seems like the dresses are more clearly artistic than they are fashionable. The synthetic materials used create incredible designs, but they don't exactly seem super comfortable to wear.
The rest of the second floor was a mix of classic and contemporary paintings and sculptures, and the museum really is worth a visit.
After the museum, I drove to the Cincinnati zoo to pour one for Harambe, but I didn't have much time to stop if I was going to make it back in time for the open mic later.
I stopped for a quick coffee at one of my friend's favorite cafes called Coffee Emporium. It was deceptively big and roomy on the inside and filled with funky art, so I can see why it makes for a cool hang out spot. The coffee was really good too. And the baristas Halloween costume was very impressive:
I got my dinner at a place called Mr. Sushi. They have a deal that all sushi is half off after 4pm which is kind of incredible. I got a shrimp and eel tempura roll and a local blond ale called the Rhine Geist Cougar.
After dinner, I drove back to Columbus for a Halloween Open Mic at Bossy Grrl's Pin Up Joint, a bar that also does burlesque shows during the week. The bar was really cool, and the staff was friendly. I tried a Tree Tapper Maple brown ale from North High Brewing which was really good. But then the bartender convinced me to try Midsommers Night Absinthe made locally up the street from the bar. I had absinthe before in Amsterdam, but I'm hardly an expert. THe bartender promised that it was one of the most authentic American absinthes you could get, and he did the whole process of burning a sugar cube on the special spoon which was fun to watch. I should have known better, but it was pretty damn strong. I don't know if absinthe makes the heart grow stronger, but it sure does make the brain go number.
Because of the absinthe, the open mic is a bit more of a blur than other ones. (Don't worry I only drank water for the next two hours). Not everyone dressed up for Halloween, but the host, Mark Lucas, had done up all his makeup to look like Death and he did his opening set in character which was super funny.
Another highlight was Joel Donahue doing an impression of progressive Blue Collar Comedy tour. He really committed to a silly bit, and I particularly liked his woke Larry the Cable Guy's new catch phrase, "Get him done"
My own set was weird, partly because I was drunk and partly because I tried almost all new material to fit in with Halloween themes. It definitely wasn't my best, but it felt more like a true open mic set, and I managed to still get laughs on some of the bigger beats so that was comforting that there was at least something to the premises even if my delivery and exact phrasing could have been way better. I improvised my costume based on just things I had in my car, so I tucked a sweater into my khakis and put a #1 Dad tank top over it to be a Step-Dad who's trying too hard. It was dumb, but it seemed to be worth a few chuckles.
Favorite Joke of the Night: From Mark Lucas/Death- Giraffes have had it easy for too long. We've got to throw a saddle on those sons of bitches.
Favorite Random Sightings: The Hound Hut; Braces Bar (this orthodontist is trying too hard to seem hip); Port-O-John Field (I'm guessing that name predates porta potties); A big billboard, "Hell is Real"; Saul's Used Tires (i didn't know there was a market for that)
Regional Observations: The highways in Ohio are so much flatter and straighter than any I've ever seen before.
Albums Listened To: Gold: The Best of Steppenwolf; Good Evil Alchemy by the Brooklyn Attractors (I think most people would think an album of reggae instrumentals would be their hell, but these guys are such good jazz players that it's a pretty solid album); good kid, m.A.A.d city by Kendrick Lamar (a masterpiece); The Good Life by Justin Townes Earle (I grew up thinking that I hated hip hop and country music, because I never heard good examples of either, so it was kind of fun if tonally strange to get a good country album right after a great hip hop album); Good Morning Aztlan by Los Lobos; Good Morning, Magpie by Murder by Death (my brother would disagree but I think this album is so good that it makes the whole rest of their discography slightly disappointing in comparison)
People's Favorite Jokes:
Two Snowman are standing in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell carrots?"
Song of the Day:
