TN Day 4 - Riverboats, Rock and Roll, and Really Really Big Hotels
Today started with breakfast at the hotel. I can't stress enough how good Southern cooking is that even our hotel breakfast was amazing. We had a little buffet with biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausages, eggs, and the healthy stuff that nobody eats. It was a great way to start the day, and our waitress got a big kick out of us being from the Boston area and tried to see what words our accents would come out on.
After breakfast our big adventure for the day was a Riverboat Cruise on the Cumberland River in the General Jackson Showboat. We got there a little early to check in so we asked the cashier at the boat cruise what she recommended nearby. She suggested Madame Tussauds at the Opry Mills Mall. We went to the mall, but the wax statues had an uncanny valley effect that really collectively gave us all the creeps so we didn't actually go in.
After walking around the truly massive mall for a bit, it was time to hit the river. The General Jackson was like something from a different time, big pinwheels in back, massive Victorian Ballroom in the center, and enough seating to fit a small town.
The Cruise was a beautiful mish mash of southern traditions. Beyond just being on the boat itself, the cruise came with lunch of country ham with potatoes, greens, and gravy. Everything was excellent, but the green beans were honestly my favorite part. Someone was telling me that because so many otherwise fairly unhealthy meals come with a side of really good green vegetables, Tennessee actually has one of the highest rates of vegetable consumption in the US.
After Lunch came the show, as we were treated to a Nashville Christmas celebration. I'll be honest Christmas music isn't my favorite genre, but the fact that it was all being played by top-notch Nashville session musicians means they could have been playing 80's hair metal and Limp Bizkit covers and it probably would have still been enjoyable. The violinist in particular was really amazing, and there was a lot of showmanship to all the performances as well. My favorite part was when the fiddler and the lead guitarist took turns trading off playing increasingly faster versions of Jingle Bells. It was exhilarating. And of course, it wouldn't be a Nashville Christmas without a visit from the King himself, as an Elvis impersonator stopped by to sing Blue Christmas. It was a blast!
After the cruise, we walked around the Gaylord Opryland Resort Hotel. It is one of the largest hotels in the entire world, which is one thing to read on paper and an entirely different thing to actually experience in person. Extravagant doesn't even cover the half of it. We didn't see nearly everything and we still saw a waterfall, a river, a koi pond, and a rainforest all inside of the same hotel. It was pretty breath taking.
After visiting that exorbitant hotel, we went back to our own humble one for some R and R. A few Futurama episodes later, I went for a coffee and ice cream run while Mr. Beaudet went for a BBQ run to a place that came highly recommended from a fellow hotel guest and had the great name: Hog Heaven.
I got my coffee at Revelator Coffee Company. The coffee was really good, though I think their milk was just on the verge of going bad which was less than ideal, but partly my fault for not noticing before I poured it. They were also hosting a foam art competition later in the day between a bunch of different coffee shops which would have been cool to see, but I had ice cream and BBQ to eat.
The Ice Cream came from Jeni's Splendid Ice Ceams, which I'd actually been to in Ohio as well. I got a weird but delicious flavor which was a local Nashville porter infused ice cream with spiced nuts in it. I got an extra dark chocolate for James, and a cookies and cream for his mom, and had a really nice conversation with the cashier trading jokes back and forth. When we got back, I arrived a little before the BBQ so we did things out of order and had dessert first but that's what vacations are for.
For proper dinner we had BBQ pulled turkey sandwiches on an onion roll with cheese and white BBQ sauce. It was an amazing sandwich and it was nice to get some turkey to round out the pork, chicken, and beef from earlier in the week. The BBQ sauce was interesting not as vinegar-y as the BBQ sauce from yesterday, but still moreso than I'm used to. It wasn't bad, but I'm glad they gave it to you on the side rather than dousing the sandwich in it, because it was the kind of flavor I'd prefer to parcel out at my own discretion. Mr. Beaudet got an order of ribs ( I think we might have actually gotten the last ones of the night because the place closes really early) but they certainly lived up to the heaven part of Hog Heaven. For sides we got mashed potatoes and mac and cheese and they were also sublime.
After dinner, I figured I was happy with the four mics I'd done this week and a night off to spend with family was something I'd rather do instead since the Beaudets were all leaving in the morning. We watched the new Noah Baumbach movie, The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected), on Netflix. It's got Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, and Dustin Hoffman portraying the bickering men of a dysfunctional family. James and I grew up watching the classic Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller comedies of the 90's and early 2000s, so we were expecting a bit of a nostalgia trip into that territory. Instead it seems like the actors might have actually grown up with us, as they both turn in some truly terrific performances in what turned out to be a much more heartfelt family drama (with very funny dialogue) than the low-brow comedy we were expecting. It was a surprise but a pleasant one, and certainly not a bad note to end our shared vacation on.
Favorite Random Sightings: Frugal McDougals; Someone greeting a friend with "Hello, You beautiful being of light"; Claim Jumper Restaurant; Altar-d State; Bananas and Cavier; Man Books next to Woman Books; The Impeccable Pig
Regional Observations: Dolly Parton in Tennessee is like horses in Kentucky or Lobsters in Maine, everywhere.
Albums Listened To: Letters from Belgium by The Mountain Goats (Just the Title Track and Attention All Pickpockets); Licensed to Ill by the Beastie Boys; Life After Death by The Notorious B.I.G. (just Mo' Money Mo' Problems)
People's Favorite Jokes:
In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time she attempted the step, and once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!' The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we are friends."
Why did the astronaut leave his wife? He needed more space.
Why didn't the melons get married? They can't elope. (cantaloupe)
Song of the Day:
The 80s were a simpler time
