ME Day 4 - Bigfoot, Bites, and Booze: More Comedy In and Around Portland
Little Video:
Bite #1: Just Look at these donuts from the Holy Donut. The shameless hack comic in me has to call them divine.
The store also has a policy that if employees take an hour off to help someone else in the community, that counts as a paid break. What's not to love about a place like that.
Next up came the International Cryptozoology museum. it's not very big, so the $10 plus paid parking might not totally be worth it unless you really like looking at weird things. Fortunately, I do. Plus the guy that curates the museum, Loren Coleman, is about as well respected as cytpozoologists get so maybe your admission fee might end up funding the actual finding of Bigfoot. Honestly the amount of pop culture memorabilia, historical artifacts, preserved animals, and artwork does make it an engaging museum and the earnest pursuit of such an out there hobby (like a comedian can really judge) is oddly admirable.
I walked around Portland's Old Port for about 2 hours and there were still so many things I didn't get a chance to see. There are a couple of big chain places in Portland, but for the most part local is the name of the game. The Bard Cafe was very good, the local comic book store was donating all of its proceeds to Hurrican Harvey relief (which is nuts when you think about how little profit comic book stores must be making), an Artisanal Salt stores claim to be the most unique store in the city and offers black truffle salt, and many of the smoke shops also double as art galleries for intricate blown glass.
It's easily the most hipster city, I've been too, but I've completely fallen for it's charms. I also guarantee that now Maine's passed a bill to legalize recreational marijuana use, if there isn't a craft weed scene in Portland by 2019 then I will eat my hat.
Bite #2: A cookie sandwich from the Scoop Deck. I got Maine Black Bear ice cream, which in Maine is just called Black Bear. Everything was really good, but it was way too much food for the likes of me especially considering the donuts earlier.
Bite #3 and an Open Mic: The Maine Beer Cafe has a policy that any performers at their open mic regardless if it's music or comedy get a free flatbread pizza, which is possibly the best encouragement there is to get up and do something creative with yourself.
The place really lives up to the beer cafe name, combining the hangout feel of a cafe with an impressive mix of local and imported craft beers. I tried an India Pale Lager from right there in Kittery. I'm not a big fan of IPAs, so the IPL was still a little hoppier than I tend to like but the lager aspect made it more full bodied and interesting.
The open mic aspect was mostly music, primarily acoustic folk and country, though there were some fun surprises such as a blue-sy rendition of a Prince song and some genuinely clever, well-written original pieces.
I was definitely a little nervous at first to go up and do stand up. In theory, a small venue with an older skewing crowd not primarily there to see stand up is a whole mess of red flags for a comedian, but this actually ended up being possibly the most fun open mic I've done thus far. Much of the thanks goes to the staff and the host of the open mic who were incredibly friendly and talked me up before I even got up and introduced me to different patrons. The bartender actually had dabbled in comedy in a past life, so I really enjoyed talking to him and hearing his stories. An original joke of his own is down below.
As for my set, they had asked that I keep it clean in case families walked in, but other than that they gave me a ton of freedom. I decided to try out a regional joke as an opener that I had thought of while on the drive, and it went over pretty well. My mayonnaise jokes and my story about being called a little boy in a thrift store did really well, and the making fun of white supremacists did okay. They actually let me do another set later on, and I got to try out some rougher material which made me feel really good, because I was getting a little tired of telling the same jokes, and it was nice to have a place I felt really comfortable trying out new stuff. It's definitely going to be good to know that I have at least five minutes of reliable clean material, as I'm sure that's gonna come in handy in some states.
After my set, I honestly think I had a good conversation with every single person in the bar. It wasn't hugely packed, but still this level of friendliness and fun atmosphere is unprecedented in my travels so far. Whenever someone did a cover of a real classic, everyone sung along, and by the end of the night it really felt like I was among friends.
One of the people I met, Sam Bennett, is also a comedian, running improv shows in the Portsmouth area. He performed a mix of improvised songs, classics, and comedy songs. What an impressively talented dude, and totally down to earth and happy to chat about anything. Definitely worth checking out, if he's performing any shows musical or comedic in your area.
And I haven't even mentioned the flat bread! Look at this beautiful monster:
I couldn't finish it all, and I'm exceedingly excited to eat the rest tomorrow.
Between the food, drinks, service, and location right on Rt. 1, the Maine Beer Cafe is a great stop, and they have plenty of promotions and other fun events just about nightly so there's really no reason not to go.
If you're a performer of any sort, I also highly recommend the open mic specifically. Musicians were given a better amount of time than most open mics, and it's earlier than most standup open mics so if you want a great place to eat and try out jokes before a later gig, there's not gonna be any opportunities better than this.
After this open mic, I double fisted the comedy and went to the Laugh Shack comedy night at Lincoln's back in Portland. The bar itself is a speakeasy with a real secret passageway and everything to get in. Now that speakeasies are kind of a hipster bar trend, I've been very disappointed by how few actually have secret passages or handshakes, so this was a real treat. On the inside, the venue was classy as all get out.
I got there a little late, so I missed most of the first comedian Anders Nielsen's set, but what I saw was very funny, and he had a natural storytelling rhythm.
The next comedian Al Ghanekar, was actually the first comedian I've seen since starting this trip who wasn't white which is kind of shocking now that I'm thinking of it. I felt like some of his broader jokes I'd heard similar variations of, but whenever he was more personal his material really landed.
Ali Simpson, the host of last night's show was next. I'd heard a lot of the jokes last night, but they were still funny a day later, and flowed even better as one set as opposed to between other comedians!
Next up was Ellen Sugarman from Boston. I might be biased, because I already think middle-aged women from Boston are the funniest people on the planet, but she was definitely my favorite of the night. She was just a classic comic, and she reminded me a lot of Rodney Dangerfield the way every punchlines zinged, and almost nothing that was framed as a personal narrative was true at all but her deadpan didn't give it away until you were already laughing. She also had great rapport with the audience.
Brett Johnson was up after her, and while he also did mostly the same jokes as last night, the fact that he is a higher energy comedian and this was a larger, more energetic crowd really made all his material pop and land even harder than it did last night. Very few of the actual words changed though, so it's so fascinating how much an audience can make a difference.
The headliner, Colby Bradshaw, had actually been hyped up to me by the bartender at the Maine Beer Cafe, and is a rising talent in the Maine comedy scene. He had a real knack for droll observational humor and absurdist one liners. He told my favorite single joke of the night with "People say 'it's the thought that counts' but if that's true, than no one would do anything"
Favorite Random Sightings: Port-a-Potty with the slogan "We pick up where you left off"; A fake Yankees t-shirt at a smoke shop that just said "Dankees"; "There is no emperor except the emperor of Ice Cream"; A sign at a restaurant that said "$5 fine for whining"
Regional Observation: Maine must be a great place to be a dog. I see so many pet grooming, dog food, and dog hotel stores along the roads here.
Albums Listened To: At Version City by Da Whole Thing; At Wit's End by No Intention; Atrocity Exhibition by Danny Brown; Attack of the Planet Smashers by the Planet Smashers; "Awaken, My Love!" by Childish Gambino; Awesome Mix Tape No. 6 by the Pietasters
People's Favorite Jokes:
Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
What did the gay horse say? Heeeey
A Jeff from the Maine Beer Cafe Original: "So I was working at a pharmacy and this old couple came in and the guy came up to me and kept saying "shot, shot". I thought this isn't bar what's he talking about. Then I realized he meant a medical shot from the pharmacy, but it was summer so we weren't giving out flu shots. I explained this, but the old man kept saying "shots, shots", "He's just busting your chops" the old woman said. "In that case," I said to the old man, "I'll give you a shot. How would like it from my .22 or my .38?" With that he unzipped his fly and gestured at himself and said, "How's you like me to give you a shot from my .44" "Easy Dirty Harry," I said, "your wife is right there!" "I don't mind" she said. So I got his number.
