Rhode Island Day 1- Cliff Walks, Clipped Hedges, and Classic Open Mics
Started the day at the moose cafe in Tiverton, Rhode Island. I knew there was a chance a former camp director at the camp for kid and young adults with disabilities might still be working there, but I assumed the odds of us bumping into each on this particular day at this particular time must be slim. But I was wrong! It was great to catch up, share some fun camp memories, and then also end up with a great coffee at the end. So far the Moose is definitely the place to offer the most bang for your buck as their large coffee could barely fit in my cup holder
Afterwards I went to Green Animals, which continued the big for your buck theme. What drew me there was the topiary garden with shrubs in the shape of everything from recliners to unicorns to mama bears. But the estate also has the original Newport mansion that overlooked the garden in its almost original state and the top floor of the mansion has an antique toy museum. So you basically get three different kinds of museum for the price of one. And they all deliver, but I’ll let these pictures do the talking:
Next up I went to Newport, and my first stop was my favorite place to get milkshakes in the world: Newport Creamery. Their specialty milkshake is called an Awful Awful, because it's awful big and awful good. I don't know what they do to make it so damn good, but it is a must try as far as I am concerned. And it's a local chain so you don't have to go to all the way to Newport for one. Just look at it:
Milkshake itch scratched, I decided to work it off a bit by going on the Newport Cliff Walk. But first I had to go incognito as a Newport Socialite .
The cliff walk's a little bit tourist-y but it's a good long walk and the views are incredible. You get the natural beauty of the ocean and the rocks, but on the inland side of the path are giant mansions which ain't too bad to look at either. Plus it's free to go on, and you can park by a beach for free and make an afternoon of it when the weather is nice.
All the salt air gave me a hankering for chowdah though, and when I looked up the best places to get chowder I just happened to be down the street from Flo's Clam Shack one of the best seafood dives (only in New England is that common enough to be a phrase) in the state. RI Clam Chowder is a local tradition that uses a clear broth as opposed to the creamier broth in most of New England. It's almost like a chicken soup broth, but it's flavored with salt pork giving it a richer, salty feeling. Flo's had a chowder combo where for 8 smackers you got a bowl of chowder, four homemade clam cakes, and a Naragansett. I was in heaven. And then an older gentleman offered me his clam cakes because he couldn't finish all of them. So I truly gorged myself. The clam cakes were super fluffy and crunchy, and the chunks of clam were just perfect.
Before heading out of Newport, I recharged with a coffee from the Coffee Grinder which is tucked away along the Marina. It's a good cafe, with an unreal view right on the ocean. Definitely a cool find.
Caffeinated, I drove to Jamestown where I saw a former army base great that has now become decked out in grafitti and is known as a great vantage point.
I also saw but didn't get a picture of a private island with sustainable mansion on it. It's a bit of a conundrum for a poor social liberal because you want to shake your fist at the opulence but you gotta admire the carbon foot print.
After pondering the iniquities of wealth, it was time to drive to Providence for dinner and comedy. Knowing Rhode Island to be a state with a proud Portuguese heritage, I looked up the best place to get Portuguese food and went to a place called O Dini's. It was very much a hole in the wall with a very unassuming store front, but the locals know it's reputation so it was getting pretty packed come dinner time. I ordered the house white steak with egg, garlic and beer sauce, rice and fries. I got the junior and it was still too much for me to finish. I don't know how they marinated it or seasoned it, but the steak was just perfect, with a little kick of spice that wasn't too overpowering but kept things interesting. Today certainly wasn't a bad day for eating.
The Open Mic was next. It was friendly but kinda crazy in a fun way. The bar, Pub on Park, had a really good beer selection and I tried a Belgian White and the Ice Fight Irish Stout from Revival Brewing, right there in Cranston, RI. I liked the white, but loved the stout. It was creamy, and flavorful but not overwhelmingly chocolatey or coffee-flavored, like the beer came first not the flavoring which isn't always the case with stouts.
Before the mic started I kinda eaves dropped on the guy running it and the two hosts, they talked about a lot of mechanics of comedy that I hadn't really thought of like where you hold the mic when you talk and how you use your face, which can really make or break some jokes. When it became clear there weren't gonna be a lot of comics there tonight they talked about how at other sparsely attended gigs they would sometimes give the comics the option of taking more time or doing less time but then getting to critique each other constructively at the end. I liked that a lot, and it gave me a very supportive impression of the RI scene.
This mic is really well known so normally it's quite packed, but I guess I got it on an off night. It was still a fun and receptive small crowd. My own set went pretty well. though I think I ran out of steam halfway through my making fun of white supremacist bit. The first half got one of the best reactions it ever got and the second half got a bit of a beating a dead horse reaction so I did a bad job reading the room and blasting through a good ending point to keep doing material that couldn’t reach that level. I did get to try a new bit that got a good enough reaction that I know there’s something there, but not so strong that I don’t need to work on it. This was definitely a fun and attentive enough audience that I felt like I could be playful with them and also feel like their reactions were a pretty strong gauge of how good my material was.
My favorite joke of the night: Steve Dinnuccio- Disneyworld get more visits a year than Mecca. Which makes me think Mecca need better rides
Favorite comic- Honestly i was so caught up in a constant state of bewilderment that I loved this older guy who called himself the Clam Man, came out in a clam suit, sange a parody song about clams squirted the audience with a squirt gun, and then told some jokes before going into another parody song. But the best comics were probably, the two hosts, Dave Sinclair and Taylor Wilkey, and a guy names Mike Reis, who interestingly enough kept talking about how rusty he was after not doing stand up for 4 years. His material was envelope pushing but generally smart enough that it would still land. For example his delivery really sold this joke: "my daughter started preschool today. Boy it seems like just yesterday I forgot to pull out."
In general I thought the night was small but strong. Pretty similar to boston in content in that it was a bit raunchy, but generally clever about it. One comic did a joke about how if he could have a super power it would be having a really big dick, but then proceeded to not make it sexual at all and instead rely on silly visuals and superhero tropes. I was pleasantly surprised. I also thought that the comics were smartly middle of the road politically, mocking extremes on both sides of the aisle. There was also more music than i’ve ever seen at a comedy open mic, because another comic beside the Clam Man did a few parody songs. Unsure if that's a rhode island thing or just the right night.
Favorite Random Sightings: Fish Road; Groovy Gator Kids; License plate that said "OG-911", couldn't tell if it was vanity plate or not and if it was what exactly they were going for, old school police officer or old school terrorist; "In pain? Call Wayne!"
Regional observation: Every man of a certain age in the state of Rhode Island looks like they could be my dad. It was eerie
Albums Listened To; Chet Baker in Tokyo (Disc 2) by Chet Baker; Chicago Film soundtrack; Chicken Skin Music by Ry Cooder, an underrated gem, which I'm sure was disregarded by many because of it's truly shocking album art.
Here's a song I love off of it not just because it has tuba in it:
People's Favorite Jokes:
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice
What is the difference between the Port Authority and a lobster with boobs? One's a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean (that's two for that one, but I liked this set up better)
What's the difference between a comma and a cat? One is a pause at the end of a clause, and the other has claws at the end of its paws
