VT Day 2- Rainy Roads, Local Legends, and Comedy Comradery
Today was pretty rainy, so I decided to structure my adventuring around mostly indoor things. I started as I usually do with my morning coffee. I went to Onyx Tonics Specialty Coffee in Burlington. The coffee was good, but I didn't get one of their fancier coffees so I'm sure if you're a real coffee aficionado there's even more to love there. The aesthetic of the place is really a selling point too, pop art portraits everywhere.
From there, my first stop was the Haskell Free Library and Opera House in Derby. The building is unique in that it is in two countries at the same time. It's become a kind of symbol of peaceful borders, and I love that the thing bridging the border is a library. As if they weren't stretching the symbolism enough, the US/Canada border is marked by a series of beautiful potted plants to keep cars from crossing. The library itself is fairly small on the inside, but a nice place to sit and write/read for a bit.
I then took scenic Route 100 to possibly one of the most important establishments in all of Vermont, and maybe even the entire country: The Ben and Jerry's factory.
I made a few stops along the way though. The first place was a favorite among my friends whenever we came to Vermont called the Cold Hollow Cider Mill. They have one building where you can buy tons of local crafts, jellies, homemade cider, and most importantly cider donuts. It's a cool spot that is clearly very active in supporting the community, and it's also maybe the best apple cider I've ever had.
Across the parking lot. is the "adult section", where you can get hard cider and locally made wines and liqueurs. I'm not normally a big hard cider guy, but the Cold Hollow Barn Dance is pretty good. They had a tasting of three different ciders but two of them hadn't been named yet, so just be on the lookout for any new releases from Cold Hollow.
A little further on down the road was the Smuggler's Notch Distillery. They have an award winning selection of spirits, and you can try four of them for just $3. I got the Litigation Wheat Whiskey, the Bourbon Barrel Aged Rum, the Straight Bourbon, and the Maple Bourbon. The Maple Bourbon and the Litigation were probably my favorites. I was the only there on a rainy Monday so I got to chat a bit with the bartender, which was cool. Turns out he has a podcast where he interviews artists around Burlington, and one of the people he interviewed, Nicole Sisk, was actually the host of the showcase yesterday so we got to bond over how funny she is. This would I think prove to be indicative of how tight knit and welcoming the Burlington comedy and arts scene appears to be.
Smuggler's Notch Distillery happens to also be right next to a Cabot Cheese store, so I would have been remiss if I did not try every free sample of Vermont cheese that I could. I'm not lying when I say there are so many free cheeses, that you could very easily skip lunch and just hang out there. I'm not sure the staff would love you, but your belly would. Perhaps I was a little whiskey brave, but I even tried the odder cheeses like habanero pepper and tomato basil. Of the spicier cheeses which I'm normally too wimpy to eat, I think I liked the Chipotle cheese the best. Of all of them I think the Farmer's Reserve aged cheddar was truly a special cheese. I also learned that I just don't really like soft cheeses like muenster that much.
After eating the Cabot Cheese shop out of house and home, I finally made it up the road aways to the Ben and Jerry's factory. I didn't take a tour though because I've seen it 4 times and I think I've got it basically memorized. Basically the company is as cool as their ice cream is good. They're super sustainable, they treat their employees well, and they try to support charities as much as they can. It really is a great business that was just a lucky thing two stoners from Vermont kind of stumbled into.
I tried a scoop of a new flavor, Cocoa Loco, inspired by chocolate cereals which was a little odd but still very good, and one scoop of my all time favorite- Americone Dream. I even was lucky enough to spot Ben and Jerry!
Back to Burlington, I got dinner at the Kountry Kart Deli as recommended by a friend of mine. Huge sandwiches, low prices, and late hours, I can see why this place is pretty well loved by college students around Burlington. The staff was really fun and friendly too and got pretty in to sharing jokes with me.
I had some time to kill before the first open mic of the night so I went to a bar that was called the Whiskey Room. It's a good classy bar, dimly lit, wooden chairs, that kinda thing. I got a bourbon and apple cider, which I thought was very good. Though I think I might just really like Vermont apple cider.
The first open mic was actually a story telling open mic hosted by Storytelling Vermont at the Light Club Lamp Shot. The venue is a really hip bar completely decked out in various antique lamps for a weird cozy vibe.
I am loving these storytelling type open mics. Everyone there was so friendly. The first guy I met, Rich Graham, is a regular and we bonded over the fact that he works with children with disabilities. He introduced me to everyone in the bar, and every single person was totally welcoming and warm.
The actual story-telling was great as well. Most of the stories had a light touch, but some of them danced around heavier topics like loss and parental relationships. I love the little windows of insight into people's lives you get from listening to them tell their tales. Some of them were really gifted storyteller as well. One guy, Peter Burns, told a kind of abstract story about childhood dreams, but he completely had a poet's sense of words and it was really lovely to hear. My two favorite stories were a guy named Dennis' story of the two celebrities he got to meet, Rin Tin Tin and Lassie, and a woman name Annie's story about giving a massage to an 80 year old Irish nun.
I wished I could have stayed a bit longer to hang out more with everyone there, but I had to run to make it to the next open mic at a bar called Drink. This was my first pure comedy open mic in Vermont, and I really loved it. It might actually have been the best open mic I've been to so far.
There's a couple factors for that. First and foremost, everyone there was really funny. I think because almost everyone there is competing in the Vermont's Funniest Competition, this week at the Burlington Comedy Club, the sets were maybe a little more polished than regular open mic sets. I'm certainly not complaining though, and I get the feeling that that batch of comics is pretty consistent even when they are trying out newer stuff. This was also easily the most diverse open mic I've been to on this trip.
Another big factor is that the crowd was actually super into the show, which so frequently isn't the case at open mics. The bar is kinda small, making it a more intimate environment, and while most of the audience was comics and friend of the comics, there was also a healthy mix of just people going to the bar. The energy boost of a receptive crowd for performers cannot be overstated. It's a powerful thing.
I think another thing that I hadn't noticed before comparing tonight with last night's open mic, is that there is a surprising difference between being given a 5 minute set and a 3 minute set. Every comic tonight seemed a lot looser and more relaxed having that extra two minutes, and every comic I saw that did the same jokes from last night really crushed it tonight even with jokes that hadn't done as well yesterday. It felt kind of vindicating of my comic ear, that I was pretty confident everyone had good material yesterday and the delivery/audience was the thing that was off, and I think tonight confirmed that.
Another factor that is probably biasing me to like this open mic a lot was that my set actually went over really well. I don't know about other comics, but I suspect many of them will relate to the fact that a little bit of validation goes a long way. I did a totally different set than I’ve done anywhere else, though I had tried out a couple of the jokes at the Maine Beer Cafe. I decided to try opening and closing on one liners and I think in short sets like this that that’s a pretty good idea that I’ll keep going forward. I opened with a silly bit about religion, and then I segued into a more risky about world peace that I think walks a lot of lines but is ultimately very optimistic and inoffensive. I had more time than I expected so I tried out a totally new and silly joke about the expression “I’m gonna tear you a new asshole” that like a lot of my jokes just came organically from a phone call with my cousins. Taking a break from the jokes I’ve been telling a lot, was really liberating and the positive feedback was very meaningful.
The styles of comedy were all over the map and all received pretty well. This is the first open mic where I actually saw more experimental material get a really good reception, with one comic doing a largely silent but very funny five minutes. I think in general story type jokes, or more absurdist stuff did the best. Apparently there was one kind of racist joke but I missed it while I was in the bathroom, and the host did a really good job calling it out and making it clear that was not reflective of the Burlington scene.
I think my overall favorite comic of the night was the host, Eric Dreiblatt. He did a bit, that was his impression of Chris Rock explaining how to do a not racist Chris Rock impression that might be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen at an open mic. It was clever, funny, silly, and smart and it was such a great way to start off the mic.
My favorite joke of the night was from a guy named Joel Klein on meeting Ron Jeremy in real life and being surprised by how short he is: “He’s like Danny DeVito with three legs”
During and after the mic, every other comic was totally friendly. A bunch of us went out for drinks afterwards and just ended up chatting well into the night. Maybe it’s because Burlington is fairly small but so far this is easily the most loving and welcoming comedy scene I’ve gotten to be a small part of. They even hug each other when they say good night, which blew my mind, because I just can’t imagine that ever happening in Boston, even though some of those people have been my friends for years. We’re just not all natural huggers.
Favorite Random Sightings: Beer Cave, a license plate that says “Got Hay”; Road signs that say “Moose. Stay alert” unsure if it’s addressed to the drivers or the moose; Good Stuff: A store for adults
Albums Listened To: Bitches Brew (Disc 2) by Miles Davis (I think it’s a very overrated album. A lot of the songs are great, but the credit i think really goes to the rhythm section and Miles is probably the least interesting thing on the record); Bitter Drink, Bitter Moon by Murder By Death; Bitter Melon Farm by the Mountain Goats; Bl_ck B_st_rds by KMD (one of the great almost unreleased records of all time, a very very young MF Doom’s second album)
People’s Favorite Jokes:
Two eggs are in the frying pan, one says “It’s getting hot in here” the other says “Ahh a talking egg!” (a four- way tie now for america’s favorite joke)
Quoting Nicole Sisk: “I was eating what I thought was one really big piece of pizza, but then it broke right down the middle. At first I thought it was kinda cool, but then I realized that it was just two pieces”
Once upon a time there was a place where it never rained. The end
What’s the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob
Why did the skeleton go to the movies alone? He didn't have the guts
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock Knock? who's there? The Chicken.
