Florida Day 1- Dads, Diehard Fans, and Downton Abbey

My first full day in Florida started with picking my dad up in the Jacksonville airport. It had been my mom's Christmas present to him to send him down where it was warm to spend a week traveling and living the shiftless drifter lifestyle with me. I hadn't had anyone join me for this long a period of time, and I wasn't sure my odd life on the road would be amenable to anybody else, but I was happy to get to spend time with my dad and relieved to have somebody to help with the driving.

Our first stop was Vagabond Coffee because it seemed like a fitting place to start. I got a cold brew and my dad got some tea. We were very satisfied with our choices, and now properly caffeinated to start our own Vagabond week.

I got to spend a couple days in Jacksonville three years ago when my college basketball team played in the NCAA games there and the band got to tag along. I would have liked to have spent a little more time there to see the sights, but most of the museums were closed on Mondays unfortunately and Florida is a really big state so my dad and I made the executive decision to do the day's sight seeing in St. Augustine which was further south and had some open museums.

Our first stop was a place called Crave. I read online that they had one of the best lunches in the city, but it was also a food truck so I was a little skeptical. My skepticism proved to completely unfounded as we pulled up to this funky trailer turned eatery parked right on a beautiful marina. There specialty is wraps and salads so I got their Sesame Ginger Shrimp wrap, which came with spinach, carrots, avocado, red peppers, broccoli, and big fat fresh grilled gulf shrimp drizzled with a light but tangy sesame ginger dressing. My dad got a make your own wrap with essentially pretty similar minus the dressing and the veggies he doesn't like. We were both blown away, and what could be a better way to start the trip than sitting in the sun eating good food.

A happy accident about going to Crave for lunch was that it was also right next to the St. Augustine Distillery. They had free tastings, so my dad and I, being two whiskey loving boys, couldn't turn that down. We weren't sure how much time we had, so we opted out of the tour and went right for the tasting room and shop. We both tried the double barrel aged bourbon. The bourbon is distilled using a triple copper pot method, and then casked twice due to Florida's high heat and humidity to prevent the whiskey from over extracting woody flavors. We were pretty pleased with it. My dad was content with that but I figured since I had him to help with the driving I'd try a few more. I sampled the port finished Bourbon that was continued to age in port barrels for a sweeter fruitier flavor. I liked this one a little bit more, but my dad who agreed to give it a taste preferred the standard stuff. I also tried a barrel aged gin, because I had never heard of such witchcraft. Apparently they are one of (if not the only) distillery in the countries that makes this unusual spirit. The gin is aged in Vermouth barrels for a stronger oaky, vanilla flavor which kinda adds some warmth and darkness to the fruity gin. I've always found gin to be my least favorite spirit, but I had to admit this was pretty darn good.

After the Distillery, we went to visit the Lightner Museum. The museum is housed in the former Alcazar Hotel built by Henry Flagler (a very big name in Florida) int he late 1800s. The building itself is a marvel of turn of the century luxury, and it would have been fascinating to explore even without the crazy collection of things inside. All of the collections were very different, but each floor of the hotel was packed with stuff that was amazing in its own way.

We were told by the front desk to start at the top so start at the top we did. There was special exhibit, Dressing Downton. Arranged on the balcony around the hotel's grand ballroom, this exhibit brought together props, costumes, and set photographs from the show with actual 19th century fine art and furniture from the museum's permanent collection. I'll admit I've never seen a single episode of the show, so the costumes were cool to look at, but probably would have meant a lot more to a fan. I was much more interested in the paintings and decorative art around the costumes. There were some really beautiful pieces, but because they were intended to highlight the costumes none of the art was labeled and I'm not a good enough amateur traveling art historian (who occasionally does do comedy) to tell what anything was.

On the next floor down, we had the main exhibit of the museum 19th century art collection, primarily decorative but with a few really good sculptures and paintings tossed in for good measure. I really liked some of the more everyday things like a collection of vintage toasters, a mug shaped like a nun, and a chair made out of horns (totally normal). There was also a shockingly large painting of an old man breastfeeding from a young woman. The Grapes of Wrath hadn't been written yet, so I'm pretty sure it was referencing an odd story from the Bible, but I can't possibly imagine anyone ever wanting that in their house.

Two of my favorite things were collages of vintage products, one of matchboxes and one of cigar bands. I liked these because they used objects that you don't really think about or even tend to throw away to combine a little bit of history, especially given Florida's relationship with Cuba and their cigars, with a more modern artistic flair for display and arrangement.

My very favorite thing from this collection was this very unwelcoming welcome mat designed by James and Mercedes Hutchinson. James wrote the poem, Mercedes illustrated it, and then craftsmen used a method called rug hooking (which involves using loops of wool similar to crocheting) to bring it to life.

Another cool aspect from this floor was the Hotel's spa and sauna area. It's weird to think of people at the turn of the century hanging out in spas, but it was thought to have really great medicinal value so it was a big selling point of the hotel to wealthier people in need of recuperation.

The bottom floor was the science and natural history portion of the museum, and it was a crazy and wonderful hodge podge of things, from shrunken heads to mummies to giant clams to a large collection of music boxes. There was a very sweet older volunteer who showed us her favorite things in this collection including a meteorite and a vintage novelty taxidermied chicken that would squawk and lay eggs full of candy if you wound it up. We also happened to be in time for a a demonstration of the different music boxes. Their collection was the biggest I'd seen outside of the Morris Museum, and my dad was really impressed by some of the more elaborate ones that had multiple instruments in them because he'd never seen anything like that before. Probably the funniest part of this demonstration is that one of the largest and most mechanically elaborate machine sounded absolutely terrible because the ambition sort of outstripped the ability and while all the instruments were automated they couldn't also be tuned very well for very long. The guide said it would sound like "a middle school band" and he was not wrong. I feel bad for anyone way back when who spent thousands and thousands of dollars on one of those.

My two favorite parts of this collection were a glass steam engine and a stuffed lion. The steam engine was made of a bunch of tiny blown glass tubes and pistons by an artist named William H. Allen, and the craziest thing about it is that is fully functional. When steam was passed through it, the wheels would turn and the propellors would spin and it would go until it ran out of steam literally and figuratively. The stuffed lion was not steam powered unfortunately, but the cool thing about Rota the Lion, who when he was alive was the pet of none other than Winston Churchill. I feel like the newest movie about Churchill probably doesn't mention that post WWII he was a lion owner, but that seems like a valuable bit of trivia.

After the museum, we strolled downtown to enjoy the weather and the beautiful Spanish architecture of St. Augustine. We stopped in to the James Coleman gallery. A gallery showcasing the works of Coleman, a master romantic impressionist and former Disney artist who painted the backgrounds for such films as the Great Mouse Detective, the Black Cauldron, Fox and the Hound, and Winnie the Pooh, and his studio artists. It was a pretty amazing space that we just sort of stumbled into because it caught our eyes off the street. A lot of my favorite stops end up happening like that.

Next up, we drove up to the Fountain of Youth, but decided it seemed like a bit of a tourist trap so we went back down main city to walk around and see cool spots and shops. St. Augustine is a pretty old town, so it was fun to see weird little historical sites tucked away among touristy shops and restaurants. One of these was the Oldest Wooden Schoolhouse in America. Normally it's free to visit, but there was road work going on so we didn't get a chance to see the dungeon under the stairs where kids used to go for punishment. Yes, that's a real thing.

Next up we went to see the St. Photios National Greek Orthodox Shrine. The Shrine has some byzantine art and beautiful frescos, but their claim to fame is gold reliquary purported to house the bone fragments of 18 saints. The Vatican says it's legitimate, though I'm not sure how they'd really possibly know for sure. Either way it makes for a really cool site to visit for the pious and non-pious alike.

We kept the religious fervor going by visiting the historic Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine, which is the oldest church in Florida and the Oldest Catholic Church in the Country. I've had my issues with the Catholic church in the past but damn if they don't know how to make a beautiful building.

At this point, I needed a little caffein boost so went to the Kookaburra, a hip Australian coffee shop. I got the Aussie coffee which is coffee and vanilla ice cream and boy did it hit the spot.

After the coffee, we tried to see the Wolf Museum of Mystery, home to such wonderfully wacky themed galleries as “Butch Agony’s Slaughter House Kitchen” or “Lizzie Borden’s Bloody Boudoir" and the “Alien Mortuary". Unfortunately they were closed due to a film production wanting to use some of their props for the day which was admittedly a cooler excuse than road work. If the weird things that you can see right on the porch are any indication though, it would have been a fun stop.

On the walk back to our car, I got enticed by a sign advertising Grog at the Monk's Vineyard Wine and Beer Bar. I wanted to feel like a pirate so I had to try a swill of this grog.. The shop was really cool with a pretty big selection of local and imported craft beers and wines, and the bartender was super friendly so it made for a great spot to sit, chat, and joke around. The grog turned out to be a nice chilled blend of whiskey, cider, and cinnamon. Not as badass as I'd expect from a pirate-y drink but awfully tasty.

After the drink, Dad and I packed up and set out for Orlando. I had initially hoped to avoid the Hustle and Bustle of theme park crowds, but there was supposed to be a very good open mic there at a place called the Other Bar, and it would put us in a position to do less driving tomorrow morning which would be nice. What I did not plan for however was the hustle and bustle of college football. The National Championship game was tonight, which I only knew about because my friend Dan goes to UGA, which was facing off against the Alabama Crimson Tide. I thought though that Florida would be agnostic given they didn't have a dog in the race, but I guess bordering both states a lot of people there actually did go to both colleges and they were out and about getting rowdy in the streets of Orlando that night. The open mic ended up calling it quits for the night because they didn't think anyone, comic or audience, was going to show up.

That was a bit of a bummer, but it took the pressure off of us to do anything on a set time schedule so we got to settle into the Avenue Gastrobar for a bite, some brews, and some good peoplewatching of crazy sportsfans. My favorite moment was when Donald Trump came out for the National Anthem and half the bar exploded into clapping and cheering and half the bar started booing. Say what you will about the guy, but he does bring out strong emotions in either direction. For the actual meal, I got the Cali Sandwich which was blackened chicken with avocado, salsa, and chipotle aioli. It was a good sandwich, but I have to admit the parmesan truffle fries really stole the show. To wash it all down, I got the Funky Buddy Florida Hefeweizen which was a really solid, crisp refreshing beer, and we got out of there before any football fans murdered each other. A very successful first father and son day!

Favorite Random Sightings: The Grater Good (cheese grater shop); Community Loaves; "After you die, you WILL see God" billboard; Happy Pappy's Glowing Balls; So Mermazing; "Xpress Lube: Wed. Ladies Night"; Divorce Men Only; A shirtless man wearing a Rudolph hat and pushing around a stolen grocery cart full of Sunchips because it's Florida baby

Regional Observations: Rain in Florida is crazy. It just kinda comes down really hard for a few minutes and then goes away.

Albums Listened To: Money Jungle by Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus, and Max Roach (what a trio!); The Money Store by Death Grips (boy was my dad not ready for this one); The Monitor by Titus Andronicus (probably the best civil war themed break up album I've ever heard); Monk by Thelonious Monk; Monkeys for Nothin' and the Chimps for Free by Reel Big Fish (Great title, so-so album); Monobound by Jorge and the Landladies (former Pietasters bassist dealing with an actual injury that caused the loss of hearing in one his ears)

People's Favorite Jokes:

Why can't you have more than 239 beans in a pot of Boston baked beans? Because then it would be too farty (240 with a Boston accent)

Songs of the Day:

And in case there was any doubt that Max Roach was one of the greatest drummers ever to live:

Dude was 70 when he did this