AR 2- Mills, Magic, and Mighty Fine Views
Today started with a trip to Boulevard Bread Company, a local favorite. I got some great coffee, and ordered a porchetta sandwich for brunch. The sandwich came with juicy house-made Porchetta, tomato, mixed greens, and aïoli on the house focaccia bread. It was phenomenal. Unsurprisingly for a bread company, the bread was incredible and really made the sandwich. The middle of the sandwich more than lived up to what was around it. The meat packed a real punch of fatty flavor complemented excellently by the aioli. For someone who really hates mayonnaise, I've come to really enjoy aioli. I'm just a sucker for olive oil. Must be my Italian blood.
The only thing I was even more excited about than the meal was where I ate it. I had a little picnic by myself at the Old Mill in T.R. Pugh Memorial Park, which readers may recognize as the mill from the opening credits of Gone with the Wind.
Besides the famous movie connection, the thing I liked most about the Old Mill is that it is full of lies. It is not actually old, nor was it ever used as a mill. It was designed in the 1930s by architect Frank Carmean and sculptor Dionicio Rodriguez to meticulously resemble a grist mill from the 1800s. It was the hope that the scenic part would serve as a tribute to those earlier days and also bring in tourists. The most impressive deception about the place though is Rodriguez's contributions. In his native Mexico, Rodriguez learned and mastered a from of sculpting called El Trabajo Rústico, in which he is able to sculpt concrete to resemble wood, steel, iron, and other building materials. If the location of the park wasn't beautiful enough, his sculptures really take it to next level breathtaking levels. All the wooden bridges, water pumps, and planks below are not wood at all. It's just unreal.
After all the fake wood, I went to see some of the real thing at Pinnacle Mountain State Park. For a place called Little Rock, this is a pretty damn big rock.
I climbed a little bit up the Mountain, but I only hiked for about 10 minutes before it became pretty clear that all the rain Arkansas had been getting had also made a lot of mud so it was kinda gross to walk in. As I was driving away from the muddy mountain though, I saw a sign for a scenic view and decided to stop. I was so glad I did, because in the viewing area there was a staircase that took you up to a platform where you were greeted by stunning views over Arkansas. I also ended up meeting a fellow traveler on the platform. He was an older guy who used to go to the Park as a child, but hadn't been back for years so he was just sitting there enjoying and reminiscing. It was super sweet.
From there, I said goodbye to Little Rock and took a scenic and roundabout route to Fayetteville where the night's open mic would be. I made a stop in a town called Hot Springs. The town was not very surprisingly named after it's abundance of natural hot springs, which led to it becmoing a well-known spa resort for politicians, tourists, and even Al Capone.
The big draw for me though was the Maxwell Blade Odditorium and Curiosity Museum. Maxwell is a successful comedy-magician, who has spent much of his life collecting weird, wild, and wonderful things from around the world. The Odditorium is right next to his magic theater where he performs regularly, but when I went to visit it was undergoing some intensive renovations (I think new exhibits getting installed, not repair work but it could have been a mix of both) and technically closed to the public. I think the cashier felt bad for me traveling all this way, so she went and asked Maxwell himself if it would be okay for me to poke around. I got the okay, but since I felt like this was a special opportunity, I thought it might come across as rude to be taking photos the whole time. The collection was really varied and cool, featuring voodoo dolls from around the world, old carnival freakshow posters, hoax animals like the figi mermaid, actual exotic animals, and even a pipe made from a human femur. The things I was most surprised about was that they had the taxidermied heads from a two headed calf but the rest of the animal had been served as veal years and years ago, which I found just shocking. It's odd to think how little we know about the animals we eat. The other thing that I got really excited to see was Edgar Bergen's original Charlie McCarthy dummy. Edgar Bergen was a bit before my time, but he and Charlie inspired and appeared with the Muppets frequently enough that he still has a pretty special place in my heart. The one thing I did take a picture of, because it was in the lobby and therefore fair game, was the cage for all the doves that are part of Maxwell's act. It's so funny that these birds are in magic tricks 3 or 4 times a week, and it's just totally normal to them.
After the oddities, I decided to just walk around Hot Springs and enjoy a beautiful day. There were lots of fun little shops to look at as I walked around. The place that caught my attention the most though was a local brewery called Bubba's Brews. I got a pint of their Southern Eclipse, a take on German dark lagers. It was a perfect halfway point between a crisp lager and a dark, creamy stout. It was a great cold beer for a warm Southern Day and much classier than the Bubba implied.
The coolest storefront I walked by, which was unfortunately closed for the day, was a place called Galaxy Connection which specializes in Star Wars and Superhero collectibles. The museum featured toys, movie props, and life sized sculptures from these major cinematic universes. It's just not everyday that you walk by a store and see a full sized Darth Vader and Iron Man staring back at you.
At this point, I was about due for another coffee so I went to a place called Kollective Coffee and Tea because it was supposedly one of the best cafes in the city. The people there were very nice, and the place had really great vibes, but I have to say their nitro cold brew was one of the worst I've ever had. It was bad in a way that I think something went wrong with the nitro element and it was more carbonated water than coffee, which isn't really the fault of the cafe. I'm sure their regular coffee is pretty good, but ooh boy that one was tough to drink.
Luckily as a palette cleanser, the cafe happened to be right next to a bakery called Fat Bottomed Girls Cupcake Shoppe. I initially just went in because I thought the name was funny, but when I saw all the cupcakes I knew I couldn't leave without getting something. I got the coconut cream and it was out of this world good. Some of the best coconut frosting I've ever had. Girls and guys fat bottomed and not should definitely hit them up if they're in the Hot Springs area.
With that beautiful pastry in tow, I made my way to Fayetteville with time to spare before the open mic so I went to a place called Penguin Ed's Bar-B-Que. Both the BBQ and the penguin imagery were pretty excellent. They had a fun gimmick where you ordered your meal from a red telephone at your booth, so that was a fun way of feeling like your dinner was a matter of national importance. I got a BBQ plate which came with my choice of meat, two sides, and some Texas toast all for under 10 bucks. I went with the ribs, mac'n'cheese, and fried okra. The ribs had a great char and some damn fine BBQ sauce that really stole the show. The mac and cheese and toast were also excellent, but I wasn't totally sold on the okra. I actually liked the taste but something about the texture kind of threw me.
The open mic was at a place called Nomad's Music Lounge, and it was produced through a group called Comedians NWA, which in this case means North West Arkansas which is not quite where Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and Eazy-E are from. This was honestly one of the best mics I've been to so far. There were two hosts, Colin Nelson and Saul Malone, and they had such incredible chemistry and energy that really buoyed the whole show. They did prepared bits, improvised riffs, crowd work, and even a few sing a-longs at the top and between comics and I loved every surreal second of it. It felt like what I assume seeing Nick Kroll and John Mulaney starting out must have felt like because there was an ease and naturalness to the way they played off each other. Because of that, I think I enjoyed the things they did together the most, but individually my favorite moments from each host were Colin doing a pitch-perfect Alex Jones impression that made great use of the word "globalist" and Saul telling a wild story about meeting the rapper Coolio and hearing him describe the size of his shower by saying "It's big enough to hold 10 bitches"
The rest of the comics fed off that energy and brought their A Games, so much so that I would have a really tough time picking a favorite comic of the night. It also doesn't help that beyond being really solidly funny, this was one of the friendliest and most welcoming group of comics I've come across so rather than pick just one comic here's a bunch of great lines from throughout the night:
Laura Meiderhoff- My goal weight is my baby weight.
Rachel Cousins- Scrabble is like sex. It's not about length, it's about position.
JJ Molinaro- I took an online quiz about whether or not I liked BDSM, but I just kept hitting submit.
Alex Youngblood- I call my car the pussy wagon because that's where I go to cry.
Xavier Clyborn- I'm a 21 year old Black man (pause) so I've had bad credit for 21 years.
Mikey Reynolds- Do you ever wake up and think, "This isn't the back of my cop car?"
I had such a great time watching all of these great performers, and I think that helped elevate my own set. It went really well, and I think just about all of my punchlines landed. Because I was from out of town, Colin and Saul gave me a little bit of extra time so I had the luxury to be a little bit looser and try out a few newer jokes that I don't usually get to fit in. My set was also helped by a luckily well-timed ad lib when a guy with face tattoos and pajama pants sitting in the front row started taking a phone call in the middle of my set. This guy had been a nuisance the whole show, and the hosts had repeatedly asked him to be quiet so I was a little meaner than I usually would have been if someone interrupted me. I said, "It's alright, you can take that. I don't want you to be late for your amphetamine pickup." The crowd was on my side and it went over well. I feel like if I set out to do crowd work I would be very bad at it, but that moment of being able to respond quickly to things as they happen really came in handy. I think audiences of all kinds always like feeling like they just shared a moment.
Speaking of audiences, it might be a little corny to say it, but the crowd really made a huge difference in the overall energy of the night. There were quite a few comics on the line-up and the majority of the crowd stuck around to watch the whole show. Not only did they stay the whole time, but they laughed the whole time even when they didn't already know the current comic on display. That might big, but it's super rare for an audience to be that attentive and invested and I think it helped a lot.
After the show, Saul and Colin invited me to hang out with them for a bit. We did a little bit of bar hopping, and I got very tipsy, which is alright because they were driving. It was a blast.
When they found out that I had never been to a Waffle House, we all decided to fix that by getting some late night waffles. I'm not sure how much i would have enjoyed the waffles stone cold sober, but they made for perfect drunk food. We hung out there for nearly two hours, and spent most of that time going back and forth improvising Dr. Phil impressions. Colin's was the best, and I really learned how important it is to never be rude to a horse. It was a really silly and perfect end to the day.
Favorite Random Sightings: "Doc Ronand" is Back (putting Doc in quotes doesn't instill me with confidence); Wild Man Arms; A bumper sticker saying "Gun control laws can't fix stupid" (I don't see why they can't still be helpful); Springy Dinghy
Regional Observations: The drive from Hot Springs up to Fayetteville went through Ouachita National Forest which is one of the most beautiful but also super windy drives I've done since West Virginia.
Albums Listened To: Peculiar by The Slackers (one of my all time favorite albums. It feels like an album the Beatles would have made if they'd grown up in the 90s); Pendulum by Creedence Clearwater Revival (an underrated gem); The People's Key by Bright Eyes; Perfect from Now On by Built to Spill; Perpetual Motion People by Ezra Furman
People's Favorite Jokes:
I didn't get any today but here's one from the old internet:
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, "Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, "Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says, "Ready, aim, fire!"
Songs of the Day:
Fun Fact: This club is also where I did my very first open mic ever. I was terrible, but the song is good.
there’s a weird intro but the old footage is great especially when the sax solo kicks in and they don’t bother even showing a saxophone onstage
Idaho’s second best export after potatoes
Retro melodies with very modern gender politics
