UT Day 5 - Crepes, Creatures, and Craters
Today started with a trip to Greenhouse Effect Coffee & Crepes which had been highly recommended by a friend from SLC. It was quirky, cozy spot filled with all kinds of weird local art, but the recommendation did not lead me astray as I got a great, strong iced coffee and some of the best crepes I’ve ever had. They had a wide variety of both sweet and savory options, and, while everything sounded tasty, I personally decided to go with the brunchier route and get something filling and savory. I ordered the veggie crepe which came with garlic mushrooms, fresh garden tomatoes, homemade pesto, and three-cheese blend all wrapped in the most perfect thin (yet somehow still fluffy and crispy all at the same time) little pancake burrito. They even gave it a little extra char after everything was all wrapped to both help keep things together and also give it a nice hint of smokey flavor. It was heaven.
With a full belly and a more awake brain, I set off for my first stop for the day, The Museum of Ancient Life. This sprawling natural history museum is located in the even more sprawling Thanksgiving Point, a complex of museums, farms, gardens, and even a golf course designed and funded by WordPerfect co-founder Allan Ashton and his wife, Karen, to provide some world class museum, shopping, and dining experiences to Northern and Central Utah. The Museum of Ancient Life has claim of being the largest museum dedicated to dinosaurs and prehistoric life, and it was co-founded and advised by Cliff Miles one of the paleontologist advisers for the Jurassic Park films which made me pretty excited. The thing that really sets this museum apart from similar natural history museums, besides the sheer size and quality of the collection, is the more immersive curation of the displays. they really try to pose the bones and casts into scenes that give you more of a dynamic sense of what these ancient behemoths might have actually looked like in action, and it creates a really powerful wow factor.
Speaking of wow factor, the museum pulls out all the stops and just opens with a Tyrannosaurus Rex in the front lobby, because they know that’s what everyone wants to see. It’s a bold move, but definitely a power play, because you know if they’re confident enough to put a start attraction up front then they must have some pretty good stuff inside. I felt like they were already living up to this promise because just a little bit further in the lobby was a positively massive prehistoric moose ancestor, something I’d never seen or even imagined before. What an absolutely terrifying thing to picture coming across.
The first gallery of the museum was more of an introduction to paleontology broadly, explaining how scientists actually determine if something is really a fossil or not, how they safely remove fossils from surrounding rocks, how they make casts of the ancient bones, and how they make educated inferences as to what bones may have looked like when pieces or skeletons are incomplete (as they are more often than not). I actually really appreciated this gallery, because I don’t think I fully grasped how much work actually goes into paleontology beyond just finding and studying the bones. I think in my head they were found and already looked just like bones, but things are rarely so clear and neat. Even cooler, they had a window up looking into their own lab so you could actually watch scientists making casts in action. Another nice thing to me about this gallery is that it felt slightly more geared towards adults with the looks into the scientific process, and for whatever reason whenever I try to look at cool dinosaurs I’m always the only adult there without young children so it made me feel slightly more welcome and validated. The best fun fact I learned in this gallery’s little look into the history of paleontology was that Native Americans actually pretty frequently encountered dinosaur bones and some tribes incorporated them into their belief structures imagining a race of giant serpent like creatures (not far off really) that the gods had killed so they were to be left alone and not meddled with by mere mortals. I loved this because the idea of coming across dinosaur bones without any prior knowledge that things like dinosaurs existed must have been the most shocking thing in the world. (also the fact that people were willing to adapt their religious beliefs to incorporate new information, shows greater flexibility hundreds of years ago than many people show now).
From this introduction on, it was off to the races with the rest of the galleries presenting the history of life as we know in a loosely chronological order. Things started, as they tend to, in the depths of the prehistoric sea with early fossilized plants, minerals, and single celled organisms that would give us the basic building blocks (and breathable oxygen) that would make more complex life more possible. Naturally I just really enjoyed that it’s scientifically valid to refer to anything as “petrified slime balls”. Dibs on that as a punk band name.
The most incredible thing in this gallery was something called fulgurite, which are small glass tubes caused by the intense heat of lighting striking wet sand and fusing the grains together. Over time some of these tubes were preserved in fossilized in rock, essentially making literal the idiom “catching lightning in a bottle”. I had no idea that this was something that happened in this world of ours, and they both served as a fascinating documentation of weather conditions in prehistoric times as well as just aesthetic marvels making tactile a fleeting moment of electricity.
With the foundations laid, the museum then moved on to the Cambrian explosion and the later Paleozoic era where sea life blossomed into all sorts of complex formations. Visually the things hear I enjoyed the most were all the shapes, sizes, and designs of preserved invertebrate shells, though from an evolutionary stand point the biggest advancements were the gradual development of spinal chords and bony jaws. They might not be as flashy as those pretty shells but it would be pretty hard to live without ‘em.
Besides the actual prehistoric skeletons, there were also models and displays imagining what these critters may have looked like more vividly, My favorites here were a big dopey dunkleosteus with his boney helmet head, and a whole dramatic scene depicting the death of an ichthyosaur. The gravitas is slightly diminished however by a passing squid-like creature just drifting on by (and possibly planning to nibble a bit on the carcass) which I thought was pretty funny, but also sort of serves as a poignantly goofy reminder that nature keeps chugging along and doesn’t really give much of a shit about your own melodrama.
From here, life finally ventured up out of the primordial goop onto dry land. Again the posing of these bones and casts, really stood out for their dramatic and lifelike renderings of actual scenes from ancient life. It was all so dynamic! I did a bad job taking notes, probably because I was just enjoying walking around and taking things in, so I’m not sure what every animal was actually called but my favorites were the sort of proto-gators with short flat heads, because they looked so pudgy and silly despite probably being killing machines, and also a super tiny dude called Compsognathus that was like a little dino-chihuahua out for a swim.
Up next came the largest gallery, by necessity, with the monstrous dinos of the jurassic and triassic periods. This was the real centerpiece featuring all the dinosaurs everyone knows and loves, including tyrannosaurs, ankylosaurs, raptors, triceratops, and the most complete stegosaurus skeleton in the world. The ones that cracked me up the most were the pachycephalosaurs (top center) who have very thick helmet-like horned skull. That would make you think that they must have been good at headbutting things, but as it turns out they actually had really weak neck bones so if they something too hard with their head they’d break their necks and die. Hard to imagine why they didn’t best natural selection.
The star of the show though was the 120-foot long Supersaurus, the largest dinosaur ever discovered. God I’d hate to have find a tie for him.
The next little room was dedicated to the beasts of the sky, which I actually think were the scariest of all dinosaurs. Highlights here included a Quetzalcoatlus with a 40-foot wingspan, a super creepy anhanguera (a flying dinosaur that could also walk on his wings like something from a Tim Burton nightmare), and a fossil that looks like it actually the feathers that many scientists long suspected some dinosaurs had.
After the sky came the sea, with the gigantic descendants of those vert first aquatic lifeforms. Highlights for me were a gargantuan prehistoric turtle because I wouldn’t have expected turtles to go back so far evolutionarily, a spooky plesiosaur that looks like the last thing I’d wanna see in the ocean, and a dopey xiphactinus that wasn’t gonna be winning any beauty pageants any time soon.
In the hallway was a cool though sort of offputting display of skulls from animals prehistoric and contemporary. Visitors were then encouraged to see if they could identify all the skulls and match them to the animals they belonged to. It was pretty neat seeing just how much diversity of form there is in just a single body part with the skulls encompassing a truly shocking amount of variety, with lots of creatures having weird and unique specially adapted bits to suit their needs.
The next gallery took place post major extinction in the age of mammals. Here the shapes of the animals were more familiar though the relative sizes were all over the map. One display showed early man hunting a massive mastodon, while also on display right nearby was a positively adorable little fella called Elephas that was a roughly dog sized early elephant. I guess current elephants decided to meet somewhere in the middle, but I’m very sad that we no longer live in a world with playful mini-phants. The one I’m kind of glad eventually released its more modern size though was the truly colossal early bear (right) that I’m very glad no longer dominates our forests.
One of my favorite facts I learned in this gallery was that when ancient Greeks stumbled across Mammoth skulls they mistook the spot where the trunk had been as a gigantic eyehole and this likely inspired the myths about giant cyclopses. I can see how you got there, especially if you lived somewhere that didn’t have any living elephants to compare the skulls to.
Lastly was a little section about sharks, which have changed shockingly little through the years. They were basically perfect eating and killing machines a million years ago and they still are. Thankfully when you see the size of the megalodon they did shrink a bit over time. Those bad larrys were estimated to be over 30 ft. long with jaws alone that were likely 2 meters wide with over 250 teeth each one averaging 7 inches in length. Yikes!
As intimidating as the prehistoric shark was, I could not stop laughing at their cast of a more modern great white because it looked so derp-y that the museum actually put up a little sign that said “Please excuse the appearance of our shark. He was cast shortly after gorging himself.” Honestly I can relate.
After the museum, I made a trip to Utah Valley University to see one of the largest stained glass murals in the world. Tom Holdman’s massive Roots of Knowledge mural is a staggering 200 ft. long, comprised of 80 windowpanes each 10 ft. high and consisting of over 60,000 individual pieces of glass. It took Holdman 12 years to complete, even with the help of hundreds of student volunteers. It’s truly a staggering and beautiful accomplishment to behold, though finding it can be a tricky as it’s in the University’s Fulton Library and you may have to trek through a bit of campus to get there. It happens to be a really pretty and modern campus though, and I was honestly astounded to learn as I walked through the student center that they have their own bowling alley! Oh to be a pampered undergrad again! When I did find my way to the correct library though, my jaw promptly hit the floor. I couldn’t even get the whole mural in one picture.
Perhaps the most amazing thing to me about the Roots of Knowledge was that it’s massive size was equally matched by a minute attention to detail. In terms of content, the 80 panes tell the rough history of human knowledge starting with the big bang and extending out into a hopeful vision of the future. Along the way, the mural spans centuries and continents highlighting important moments in art, science, and history including the invention of Greek theater, the terra cotta armies of China’s first emperor, the building of the great sphinx, Renaissance artwork, the signing of the US constitution, the invention of Apple Computers, and possibly most importantly of all the first toilet. The artists worked very hard to really research big advancements from as many cultures as possible, and while I think there’s a touch of Western centrism the effort is deeply admirable. The glass itself leaves everything incredibly rendered in beautiful dreamlike colors and it’s truly a wonder to me that anyone could even think something like this up let alone make it happen. I did not realize this while I was there, but I have since learned that there are little easter eggs hidden throughout the mural including actual dinosaur fossils and a real 1176 coin inlaid with the glass and cheeky fictional inclusions such as Superman and Dr. Who’s Tardis. While my pictures capture of smattering of the many images that stuck out to me, if you’d like to see the whole thing annotated without venturing all the way to Orem, the university’s website conveniently offers a virtual tour which you can find here.
After acquiring all of human knowledge, I made my way up to the snowy peaks of Northeast Utah to eventually visit the famous resort town of Park City. Along the way, I had to pull over by Deer Creek State Park just to take in and document the incredible scenery of the Wasatch Mountains venturing up into the clouds.
I also made one more pit stop before getting to Park City at the Homestead Resort. This mountain getaway is home to a unique geologic phenomenon called Homestead Crater. This 55 foot tall mound of earth looks pretty unassuming from afar, but it actually contains within it a natural hot spring of crystal blue waters that hover around 90 to 96 degrees Fahrenheit. For many years the only way to access the springs was from the top down, but in recent years the resort has carefully tunneled below the crater to give visitors a safer and easier mode of entrance. For a small fee you can even swim, Scuba dive, or just soak in the steamy natural sauna.
I went into the tunnel, but I hadn’t packed a bathing suit nor anticipated how publicly open the hot spring was so I just admired it from a distance. Unfortunately all the steam made it less than capturable with my meager photographic skills. Luckily other people have gone before me and captured it, in case you weren’t quite sure how to picture it.
For safety reasons, I believe that you’re not allowed to go to the top of the crater any more, but there was a still staircase there while I was visiting and no signs saying not to do it so I was lucky enough to look into the abyss and have it stare back at me.
When I did finally make it to Park City, I was very impressed by the cute shops that speckled the narrow hilly streets. It was very cozy and aesthetically lovely, though I’ll be honest all the nice brand name clothes and white white skin made me feel surrounded by a degree of wealth I wasn’t totally comfortable with. I probably should have seen that coming from a ski resort town, but I think growing up New England, I’m maybe more used to working class skiers than the rest of the world and I guess I forgot how bougie it could get.
All that being said, seeing storefronts like this made me really happy I visited.
One of the biggest highlights in town for me was the High West Distillery, one of only a handful of makers of fine whiskies and spirits in the whole Beehive State. The place also has a real rustic old-timey vibe since it’s located in a historic livery stable and garage, which really gives it great atmosphere. It felt like just about the closest, you can get to an authentic Old West Saloon. The aesthetics were more than backed up by some pretty excellent homemade liquor. Their food is also supposed to be some of the best in the city, though as that statement might imply it was a teensy bit out of my price range so I contented myself with the booze. I tried little tasters of three of their best sellers, the Double Rye! (their stylization, much appreciated) a blend of a brash young rye whiskey with a mellow 16 year aged rye for a complex and exciting flavor profile, the American Prairie Bourbon a classic bourbon executed exceedingly well with 10% of their profits actually going to preserve its namesake prairies, and last but not least an unusual concoction called Silver Whiskey Western Oat, an unaged clear whiskey that has the bite of similar moonshines but an oddly sweet malty flavor as well from the combination of oats which makes it dangerously drinkable. Everything was really excellent, and it took a lot of will power for me to make it out of their general store without taking any of that good stuff home with me.
I walked off the whisky a bit by doing a little loop once more up and down the main street hill. I got some tasty peanut butter ice cream at a cute place called Java Cow Coffee and Ice Cream, which as you can see was so good it not make it to a photo opp. I then got a cup of really good strong cold brew at a place called Pink Elephant Coffee Roasters, which very delicately measures and roasts all of their beans and espresso to perfection even if the name calls to mind one of the most unnecessarily terrifying songs ever introduced into a disney movie.
After fueling myself up, I drove up to see Park City’s biggest claim to fame: The Utah Olympic Park, a gorgeous park built specifically to host the 2002 Winter Olympics. All the exhibits were closing when I got there, but normally the park is still pretty fully active and really there’s just something awe-inspiring about even seeing the slopes and jumps that Olympians used. I generally prefer spending winters inside, so the closest I’d ever been to the winter olympics before this was watching Cool Runnings. I’ve also never been skiing personally, so I have no idea how the slopes compare to those elsewhere in the world but I was very impressed by everything I saw.
After thinking about all that exercise, I was pretty wiped so I headed back to Salt Lake to call it a night. Before retiring, I got a really great hearty dinner at a fun brewpub called Squatters Pub Brewery. Best of all everything was much much cheaper than it would have been in Park City, which is a teensy bit odd considering they also have a Squatters. Go figure. From the outside, it resembled an old warehouse (I think at one point the building was), but inside they really did a commendable job of creating a homey British pub feel with distinctly American grub and brews. It was one of those place where pleasant conversations would just casually spring up between bar goers, ably assisted by funny, friendly bartenders. For brews I tried half pours of their house beer: Captain Bastard’s Oatmeal Stout because ‘twas a name I could not resist, and something called the Squasatch Hoppy Pils, an unusual middle ground between a floral IPA and a crispy refreshing pilsner. Luckily for me the hops didn’t overwhelm the pilsner body, and I actually enjoyed both beers quite a bit though naturally the edge went to the good captain. For food, I had a fantastic BBQ Pulled Pork sandwich with house barbecue sauce made using that delicious Polygamy Porter. As great as the sandwich was, I was particularly blown away by some of the best pub french fries I’ve had in quite some time. They were thick wedge cut fries, but somehow they didn’t lose an ounce of crispiness. It sure was a whole ton of bang for your buck.
After dinner, I decided to opt out of the night’s open mic, because I was still feeling a bit sickly and I had already pushed myself a lot this week. It was a bummer, because I’d enjoyed all my other forays in SLC’s comedy scene this week, but sometimes you just get worn out.
Favorite Random Sightings: “We don’t speak Pig Latin, Klingon, or Starbucks” (I have no idea why those three things are linked); a big billboard asking “Hiding from your bunions?”; Wolverine Service (you have to take them in every 3,000 miles)
Regional Observation: All the road signs for state highways have little beehives on them and it’s delightful.
Albums Listened To: Sink or Swim by The Gaslight Anthem (a punkier debut than their more E Street later sound); Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford (an excellent single that was also famously one of the Clash’s lead-in songs while they were on tour); Ska by Various Artists (a fun compilation of 80s “hits” from the UK)
People’s Favorite Jokes: Nothing today so here’s one from the internet:
Two vampire bats are hanging upside down in a cave. One of the bats feels rather hungry. "Let's go and find some blood", he suggests.
"I don't think you can get any blood this time of the day", says the other bat. "Well, I want some blood and I want it now!", says the first bat and prepares to take off. "Are you coming or what?"
"Don't be stupid, you'll just waste your time", says the second bat. So the first bat flies anyway. After a few minutes he is back with blood smeared all over his face.
"Where did you manage to find blood this time of the day?", asks the second bat. "Well, do you see that tree out there?", says the first bat and points at a tree outside the cave, "Do you see that tree?"
"Yes", says the second bat, "of course I see it".
"Well, I didn't", replies the first.
snappin’
A forgotten gem
Bonus nightmare fuel:
For an anti drug song, there’s no way every animator wasn’t high out of their gourd