CO Day 5 - Peaks, Paint Mines, and Pubs
Today started with a trip to hip Colorado Springs coffeeshop called Urban Steam. They specialize in espresso, whiskey, and waffles which are three pretty fantastic things to specialize in. Besides having great coffee, they also had really cool art featuring highly caffeinated robots and chaotic street signs. It was a really cool place to start to my day.
I was gonna need all the energy I could get today, because my first destination was 14,115 ft. in the air. Pikes Peak is the tallest mountain in the front range of the Rocky Mountains, and its grandeur has dominated the Colorado skyline for about 1.05 billion years. It prominently factors into creation myths for the Ute people dating back to at least 500 AD., it brought hundreds of gold-crazy Westerners to Colorado during the 1800s, and it continues to attract hundreds of tourists looking for high altitudes and beautiful vistas. The peak is named after the way more crazily named explorer Zebulon Pike (who looks at a baby and thinks, “He looks like a Zebulon”) in 1890 though for a while it was named James Peak after the first Western explorer to reach the summit, Edwin James. Reaching the summit is now the easiest it’s ever been though, because there is a 19 mile winding highway from Cascade, CO right up to the tippy top. It was one of the most scenic drives of my life, and also the first time I’ve ever had a parks official reduce the air pressure of my tires so they wouldn’t explode due to the altitude change. That was pretty crazy, but reaching the summit and getting to look out over the tiny world below made all the mild fearing for your life worth it.
One of the most special attractions of the mountain may come as a bit of a surprise to the uninitiated. I speak of course about their magic high altitude donuts. The combo gift shop/restaurant, the Pikes Peak Summit House, is home to the highest deep fryer in the United States, and they’ve been using a signature recipe since 1916 to make perfectly unique donuts that are at once deliciously crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside at high altitudes, but which start to collapse the closer you get to sea level. They were incredible, so much so that I bought a whole half dozen and they were all I ate the whole day.
Driving back down the mountain, I couldn’t help but marvel at the combination of red rocks, green trees, and looping switchback roads that made for some of the most jaw-dropping views imaginable:
You don’t have to go all the way to the summit to get stunningly beautiful scenery as the base of the mountain is home to the verdant Pikes Peak National Forest and the aptly named clear blue waters of the Crystal Creek Reservoir.
After my mountain climbing, I took a short drive to one of the most unique state parks in the world: Paint Mines Interpretive Park. The park contains 750 acres of white sandstone spires that twist and bend in improbably shapes. These formations are also coated in colorful clay ranging in color from dark purple to bright yellow with rusty reds and oranges in between. Archeological evidence shows that Native Americans in the region used the stone and clay for pottery and paints as far back as 9,000 years ago. Nowadays, it’s protected land with trails around the main features for curious sightseers. It really doesn’t look like anywhere else I’ve ever seen:
And while it couldn’t compare to the natural wonders, I did like seeing the gently spinning metal blades of a wind farm in the distance:
After all my sight-seeing, I made my way back to Denver for the day’s comedy. It was a little over an hour and a half drive though, so when I got into town my first stop was for coffee. I went to a super cute place called Stella’s Gourmet Coffee and Such, which was run out of a cozy little house with a patio and served up delicious coffee and pastries.
Refueled and recharged, I made a quick stop to a trendy record store called Angelo’s CDs and More to pick up the latest Father John Misty album that dropped today so I’d have some fresh tunes for tomorrow’s drive.
The open mic was a surprisingly early one starting at 6pm at a funky pub called 3 Kings Tavern. The bar was a great little dive, but unfortunately people don’t really hang out at dive bars that early so there wasn’t much of an audience for the mic. The comics there were all completely solid, but even really good comedy doesn’t quite work if nobody’s around to watch it. The other comics were all supportive, but it was still on the tougher side.
My favorite comic of the night was a guy named Joe Gray who had a really sharp delivery and was able to own the stage even for a room filled with jaded comics. My favorite line of his was the simple but clever, “ I got fired from an IHOP because there's no other way to leave that job”
Other Highlights:
Byron Graham - Any whiskey people in the crowd? Let's hear it for you child beating micks
Bryan Flynn - My dad volunteered for the Challenger. That’s like the ultimate going out for cigarettes and not coming back
Roger Safford- I’ve been to a strip club everyday for months... delivering sandwiches
Jeff Cohen- I went on a speed date the other day. It sucked. She snorted all of it
Priscilla Spangler- I’m not a functional person. But I can tap dance so I'm gonna be okay
Adam Padesky- I didn't know huffing glue was even an option until DARE.
Kyle Berman- You can tell when someone has a DUI because the stick family is in the windshield
Christy Bukely -If you're really looking to cry, stare into the eyes of a very old dog
My own set went pretty horrendously, because I just didn’t have the stage presence to grab the crowd’s attention and if you don’t get that first it doesn’t really matter how good or not your jokes are.
I was feeling a little down in the dumps about bombing, feeling like I’d embarrassed myself, but I got a nice little pick-me-up after one of my favorite comics I met earlier in the week, Zach Welch, asked me if I wanted to get some drinks on my last night in Denver. I met up with him at the Irish Rover, the pub that hosted Monday’s open mic. He was hanging out with Joe Gray from tonight’s mic, and we had a really great night of drinking, cracking jokes, and exchanging stories, They’re both much stronger and more well established comics than I am, so it felt like I was the younger sibling sitting at the big kids’ table for the first time. It was a perfect way to end my time in Denver.
Favorite Random Sightings: A casino billboard with the crazy slogan “Voted Loosest Slots!”; Pickle Shack; Bigfoot Crossing (a bold claim); The Leechpit (no clue)
Regionals Observations: The dispensaries in Denver are much more interested in trying to look like respectable business than making silly weed puns than the ones on the West Coast.
Albums Listened To: untitled unmastered by Kendrick Lamar (a great album unfortunately released between two far greater albums so it’s easy to forget about); Untitled Sub Pop Collection 7” by the Mountain Goats (some solid singles); Up From Below by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes (Home got crazy overplayed, but I think this album is better than people give it credit for); Urban Pirate Booty Single Series (a fun collection of singles from various New York ska/punk guys); Useless Fox EP by Useless Fox (a band I met and hung out with at a bar in Columbus, Ohio way back when); A User’s Guide to They Might Be Giants by They Might Be Giants (just Istanbul, Not Constantinople); The Valley of the Shadow of Death by The Tossers (some good Irish boys)
People’s Favorite Jokes: None today but here’s one from the web:
A single guy decides life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today, we will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me?”
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to church with me or what??"
A little voice came out of the box:
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."
Songs of the Day:
just wow
much more lighthearted than the Kendrick video
Freakin’ hippies
very catchy, very Irish
This just makes me happy