CO Day 7/ KS Day 0- Czech Eggs and Check Outs
My last day in Colorado was sadly largely uneventful as I had an 8 hour drive ahead of me from Boulder to Wichita. I fueled up for this drive by stopping at a cozy, delightfully named coffeeshop called The Laughing Goat, which excelled in delivering both warm vibes and strong coffee.
I woke up a little late, so after getting my coffee I just buckled down and drove for a little over 100 miles before stopping for lunch at a nice little Chinese restaurant just off the Highway called Golden China in the citrus-y town of Limon. Sadly the place has since permanently closed, though judging by how sparsely populated Colorado east of the Rockies is, I can’t imagine they had hordes of business. It’s a shame, because for how unassuming the little restaurant was, it was quite tasty and one hell of a deal. Their daily lunch special included a choice of entree, an egg roll, fried rice (if it wasn’t already a rice dish), and a choice of soup. I got the House Special fried rice which came with a mix of beef, chicken, shrimp, and veggies and some wonton soup. The fried rice really checked a lot of boxes by just having a bit of everything, but I was honestly a little more impressed with the soup which was simpler but just deliciously executed. It didn’t seem like an area of the world with an exceptionally high Chinese population, so I was happy to have more by accident than anything else stumbled into such a nice, reasonably authentic restaurant.
After my hearty lunch, I drove by a landmark that I was very excited about which was unfortunately under construction. I speak of course of Genoa’s Wonder Tower, a bizarre, haphazardly constructed obelisk located on one of the highest elevated points between Denver and New York. Every room inside the tower and nearby museum is filled to the gills with antiques, oddities, and assorted knick-knacks meant to entice travelers in the heyday of Roadside Attractions, but the big selling point was always the unparalleled view from the top which gives visitors the chance to see a sweeping panorama encompassing six different states. It was a shame that it was closed while I was there, but you can sorta tell just by looking at it that the construction was probably necessary.
From there, I bid Colorado a fond farewell and continued on my way to the next roadside attraction, only a small three hour drive into Kansas, the World’s Largest Czech Egg. Located in Wilson, KS, the official Czech Capital of Kansas (there was some competition for that title, who knew!), the egg reaches an incredible 20 ft height with a diameter of 15 ft. It was designed by local kraslice (the Czech and Slovakian name for the traditional egg art) Christine Slechta with all the patterns derived from traditional Czech symbols for good fortune, strength, and life. It’s a beautifully odd and just plain beautiful tribute to a proud cultural community and a tradition that many people on the outside would never have associated with Central Kansas. I really didn’t know what to expect going in to see this one, but even with virtually no knowledge of Czech culture, it’s just an astounding piece of art and getting to have its gorgeously painted egg shell tower over you is a pretty unique experience.
You’re probably still wondering though, “what the hell is a Czech egg anyway?” Never fear, the attraction has anticipated that this would be most tourists’ most pressing question so the monument is also aided by some plaques that give visitors both a brief history of the Czech practice of exchanging stylized eggs on different holidays and also of how this particular egg ended up here in Wilson. It’s really weirdly fascinating stuff, so if you’re ever driving by I strongly encourage you to take the pit stop.
From there it was just another two hours to my Air BnB in Wichita, where I promptly passed out in about as soon as my head hit a pillow. This day was pretty heavily brought to you by gas station coffee.
Favorite Random Sightings: Urban Mattress (much more streetsmart than a rural Mattress); Hungry Toad (not necessarily the most appetizing name); Interlocken Loop (wild street name); Joe Bob Outfitters (for all your Joe Bob needs); A big billboard for “The Second Friendliest Yarn Store in the Universe” (this is one of my all time favorite sightings because it’s at once super grand and also not that impressive)
Regional Observations: If there is a flatter stretch of the country than Central Kansas I shall eat my hat
Albums Listened To: The Velvet Underground by the Velvet Underground (maybe my favorite of their albums); Versatile by Van Morrison (inessential but lovable); The Vertigo Singles Collection by Graham Parker (lots of fun); The Very Best of Bob Newhart (Such a special comedic voice that has aged impressively well); The Very Best of Daryl Hall and John Oates (just Rich Girl)
People’s Favorite Jokes: not much actual human interaction today so here’s one from the web-
A girl was given a tea set for her second birthday. It became one of her favorite toys, and when her mother went away for a few weeks to care for her sick aunt, the toddler loved to take her father a little cup of tea, which was just water really, while he was engrossed watching the news on TV. He sipped each "cup of tea" he was brought and lavished generous praise on the taste, leaving the little girl immensely proud.
Eventually the mother returned home and the father couldn't wait to show her how his little princess had been looking after him. On cue, the girl took him his "cup of tea" and he sipped it before praising it to the heavens.
The mother watched him drink it and said: "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"
CO Superlatives:
Favorite Coffee: Pure taste- Sonder Coffee in Denver; Overall Vibes- Trident Booksellers and Cafe in Boulder
Favorite Restaurant- Casa Bonita in Denver for everything but food; Denver Biscuit Company at Atomic Cowboy for Food
Favorite Beer: Dark Galaxie from Denver’s Cerebral Brewing
Favorite Bar: Oskar Blue’s Black Buzzard Room
Favorite Open Mic: Denver Bike Company (now called Tandem Bar); Honorable Mention to Fort Collins’ Dungeons and Drafts mic for giving me a fun place to go during my Wyoming week
Favorite Natural Attraction: Garden of the Gods near Colorado Springs
Favorite Man-Made Attraction: Denver Botanic Gardens
Favorite Ice Cream: Bonnie Brae’s in Denver
General Impression of the Comedy Scene: Denver’s scene was a lot like Boston’s, in that it’s a big city where there’s tons of opportunities for quality stage time, but that also means that there’s actually a lot of great comics so it can get a little competitive for better spots past the open mic stage. Still, I thought people were generally very supportive and welcoming and I had a lot of fun at every mic I went to. I’d say that sets tended to be either more personal or more absurd in their style but there was a little bit of everything. I think I actually did more mics in Colorado than any other state, which says a lot about how well organized they are that even a dummy like me can figure out where to go.
Songs of the Day:
Maybe my favorite song Lou Reed ever wrote
I like this video because it just looks like Van is very unimpressed with San Francisco
So much fun
I have no idea why this song more than any other Hall and Oates song really made an impression on me
Bob kills it, and Deano is shitfaced