NE Day 6 - Chimney Rock, Carhenge, and Cheese
Today started with a decadent breakfast at a diner called The Mixing Bowl in the small town of Gering. I initially just went to get a cup of coffee, but I couldn’t resist the sound of their breakfast burrito which came loaded with eggs, cheese, bacon, and avocado. Not too bad a way to kick things off.
Burritos are very delicious but not particularly photogenic
After fueling up, my first stop of the day was one of Nebraska’s most famous natural landmarks: Chimney Rock. Rising out of the largely flat prairies, this towering formation of clay and sandstone cuts a unique tapered silhouette which served as valuable guide posts for Native Americans and later westward-traveling settlers who could otherwise have easily gotten lost in the monotonous terrain. Because rattlesnakes are common in the fields, the national monument visitor’s site doesn’t let you get too close as a precaution but it hardly diminishes the grandeur of the vista. I can only imagine how crazy it must have been to stumble upon for the first time.
The visitor’s site was small but had some really fun exhibits. I started out by perusing a sizable collection of art featuring Chimney rock including impressionistic paintings, vintage photographs, naturalist sketches, geologic diagrams, and some impressively surreal contemporary photographs capturing the formation bathed in moonlight and surrounded by lighting.
My favorite part was a sweet, sprawling collection of cards left by visitors with kind messages and drawings of adorably varied quality.
Next was a display about the prehistoric life in the region, featuring an impressively complete set of chompers from an early ancestor of pigs called the Oreodont. They’re thought to have been relatively peaceful plant eaters but I still wouldn’t want to be caught on the business end of those bad boys.
Next was some more recent history in the form of art, artifacts, and photos from early settlers and Native peoples of the region. Interestingly, until the Gold Rush settler/Native relations were actually really peaceful, because white folks tended to come in relatively small groups and pass right through so it wasn’t much upheaval and a good opportunity for both sides to trade. Things only soured when hordes of gold-hungry travelers besieged the plains and started killing more buffalo than was sustainable. It’s a damn shame, but it does make a compelling case against the garbage of Manifest Destiny. The country was always big enough for everyone to live side by side and it was just arrogance, and a heaping helping of racism, that led to the settling of the west going to the tragic way it went.
On a lighter note, the thing I was absolutely ecstatic to learn was that since the original inhabitants of the land didn’t have chimneys, they named the rock after something they were more familiar with: Elk Penis. Even better, when the European explorers started writing about their travels, their editors refused to print this name instead turning to some pretty hysterical euphemisms such as Elk Peak, Elk Brick, and simply E. P.
Outside there was a plaque detailing one of the crazier discoveries ever unearthed from the surrounding area. In the early 1930s, a group of paleontology students came across the fossilized remains of a 25 million year old saber-toothed tiger with its teeth lodged into the shoulder blade of another tiger. The two beasts died together, locked in combat, and frozen in stone for millennia. One of the students, Loren Eiseley, went on to have a notable career as an anthropologist and author, and he wrote a poem about about the finding called The Innocent Assassins which was reprinted on the plaque.
The big attraction outdoors however was a binocular viewer where visitors could get a peek of the rock’s titular Chimney up close and personal. As impressive as it is, researchers believe it actually used to be taller but has sine been down by erosion and lightning strikes.
Down the road from visitor center was a recreation of an Old West trading post called the Settler’s Trading Post which sold all kinds Chimney Rock souvenirs some of which was more appealing than others:
While I somehow resisted the Poop, I did get delicious cone of Moose Tracks ice cream which really hit the spot.
After savoring my ice cream, I made my way to the town of Alliance to see a very different local landmark: Carhenge. I first heard about Carhenge through a joke Omaha native and Book of Mormon star, Andrew Rannells made about the difference between Eastern and Western Nebraska. Carhenge more than lives up to them name as it is exactly what it sounds like, an impressively faithful recreation of Stonehenge made entirely out of cars. It’s both a pretty astounding accomplishment and an utterly baffling creation. I don’t think anyone was exactly clamoring for a Stonehenge made out of cars, but I think the world is a little brighter for it. It’s the perfect blend of the ridiculous and the sublime.
The project was a labor of love by local artist Jim Reinders, pictured below proudly seated atop one of his arches. The community initially thought of Carhenge as a bit of an eyesore, but it’s gradually become embraced as a valuable piece of public art.
In the years since it first went up, more sculptures have been added to the site and it’s now grown into its current iteration as the Car Art Reserve. Other pieces by the founder include: An abstract representation of the four seasons done with all Fords and naturally called the Fourd Seasons; a car intentionally designated for guests to autograph; and a submerged car with a time capsule (sorry, car-sule, the puns are off the charts up here) in it to be opened in 2053.
Other artists have also been inspired by Jim Reinders and contributed some pretty incredible creations made from old car parts. Highlights include: a spawning salmon by Geoff Sandhurst; a reimagined covered wagon by David Kowalski; three swaying bells made by Jim’s brother Leonard Reinders; and a mysterious scrap metal car-asaurus which is fascinatingly by an unknown artist. How do you put a giant car dinosaur in a field without anyone noticing?
For some reason, my favorite non-Carhenge sculpture was this half submerged car by Jim Reinders because I can’t help but ascribe some emotion to the car and I’m rooting for it to bravely surge out of the ground.
After Carhenge, I went down to Scottsbluff to recharge with some coffee and do some writing. I went to a fancy restaurant/casual coffeeshop called The Emporium, and they kindly let me sit in their lobby enjoying their tasty coffee and free wifi.
For dinner I went to a fantastic wine and tapas bar called the The Tangled Tumbleweed. The restaurant blends fancy food and drinks with a down to earth, cozy atmosphere as half of the restaurant is actually housed in a repurposed garage. It’s like you’re just having beers with a buddy, but the buddy happens to have a sommelier certification and a degree in culinary arts. I didn’t try the wine, though it looked like a fun selection, because I couldn’t resist the sound of a rich chocolatey oatmeal porter made from local oats by Zipline brewing. It was silky, smooth, and packed with flavor. For food, I went full comfort and got the Tumbleweed Bread which was a skillet layered with fresh baked French bread, garlic, butter mushrooms, and a liberal dousing of Swiss and parmesan cheeses. It was just heavenly. Even better all the meals came with homemade seasoned pretzels. I’d never seen crispy pretzels that weren’t mass produced but these little devils almost stole the entire show. My favorite moment though was a very funny lapse of professionalism when my waitress handed me my cheesy bread skillet, said “Careful it’s really fucking hot”, immediately realized she wasn’t supposed to say that, and then just started laughing. It was just a sweet little human moment that added to the warm atmosphere of the place.
After dinner, I went back to my AirBnB and had another fun night hanging out with my host, though this time we didn’t have any unexpected guests which was nice. I realized that I had a special opportunity to ask an actual farmer about whether or not the at-the-time-new tariffs which our president kept insisting were actually helpful. My gut said no, but I’m not exactly unbiased nor knowledgable so I decided to be open minded and ask someone who knew there stuff. I believe she called them “crippling”. I think she was pretty far from a bleeding heart liberal like myself, but she was very much negatively impacted by our current administration and wasn’t afraid to voice her displeasure. Nebraska tends to go Red though, so I asked a question that’s plagued me which is “If the policy’s are so harmful, why do so many people vote against their own interests?” Her theory was that misinformation was a big factor, and she explained to me that in towns this small a lot of people don’t just choose to only Fox News it’s actually the only news basic TV providers air, which is kinda chilling. It was a little alarming to really face how unequally distributed something as valuable as quality information is, but otherwise the conversation flowed free and easy and it was nice way to end the day.
Favorite Random Sightings: A billboard proclaiming that a certain business had “The best darn people!”; a salon called the Hairport; an advertisement geared towards seniors calling an electronics store “Where Computers Finally Make Sense”
Regional Observations: Antelopes are so pretty and graceful from a distance, but desperately stupid up close. I came across a pack of them, so I slowed my car down to let them pass and one just casually walked right into the side of my stationary car and bonked his head. God forbid if I had actually been in motion. I kinda underestimate how different it is to be surrounded by real “wild” wildlife.
Albums Listened To: White Pepper by Ween ( a fun and relatively normal album from the Ween boys); Who Knows Where the Time Goes by Judy Collins (for whatever reason this album never grabbed me like some of Judy’s other albums but on this listen it really wowed me, funny how that happens sometimes); Who Will Survive and What Will Be Left of Them by Murder by Death (a weird gothic-country-rock album named after the Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s original tagline); Who’s Next by The Who (just Baba O’Reilly which is pretty lame of me); The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle by Bruce Springsteen (maybe my personal favorite Springsteen album); Wildflower by The Avalanches (an eclectic sophomore album by the Australian producer/DJ duo only 16 years after their first album)
Joke of the Day:
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal.
The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Songs of the Day:
A silly riff on Jimmy Buffett with a killer guitar solo
one of the first original songs she recorded and one of her all time best
They’re just having so much fun
They found the perfect kid for this video