ID Day 6 - Craters, Craft Beer, and Comedy
Today I started out by going to a classy local bakery called Janjou Patisserie. The head pastry chef immigrated to Boise from Israel, so they specialize in traditional Israel pastries and pride themselves on using almost entirely local ingredients in their treats. I was boring though and didn’t get any of their more specialty items, because I just couldn’t resist their amazing looking zucchini bread. It had a deliciously crispy brown sugar-specked crust and sweet raisins baked in, and it was a perfect accompaniment to my morning joe.
Fully fueled up, I went out for my day’s adventure. I’d set aside today to explore Craters of the Moon National Monument and Preserve as it is probably the most famous natural landmark in the state, and one of the most unique in the country. It was a 2 and half hour drive there from Boise, but luckily the long drive was pretty scenic, and I had to pull over in Sawtooth National Forest to snap a photo of the unbelievable green rolling hills that stretched out in every direction.
After soaking up the vistas, I continued on my way to the Craters of the Moon, which judging from the view outside the Visitor Center was an incredibly fitting name as if it weren’t for the occasional trees I wouldn’t believe this was still the same planet:
I started in the Visitor’s Center because I needed to get a pass for the rest of the park. It was a good place to start though because they broke down some of the geology and history of the preserve and provided some aerial shots of the whole that were just bananas. Rather than actually being made of a bunch of fallen moon rocks, the Craters of the Moon are actually 1,117 square miles of protected land consisted of three volcanic fields and a sagebrush steppe grassland. The area lies on Idaho’s Great Rift a 53 mile long stretch of weaknesses in the Earth’s crust that gave way to an extraordinary amount of volcanic activity during eight major eruptive periods between 15,000 and 2000 years ago. The stretch of the Rift that is part of the national monument contains over 25 volcanic cones and just about every known form of Basaltic rock, which gives the field their dark sooty color. It really is crazy that this totally unique landscape is only a couple hundred miles away from lush rainforests in Washington.
Most of the park is accessible via a 7 mile Loop Drive that takes you to different hiking trails and key points of interest. It was truly unlike an other drive I’ve ever been on.
The first stop was the North Crater Lava Flow which are the youngest fields in the park dating back to about 2200 years ago. The volcanic rock in this field has a distinct purplish-blue hue from having a little pieces of volcanic glass (obsidian) on its surface. Even though the volcanoes in the park are all dormant, the explosive energy that created fields is evident in just how not-uniform the landscape is. Everything is looks jagged and broken, but oddly beautiful at the same time because of the way different colors and larger rock formations just seem to pop up out of nowhere. The larger mountains visible in the distance sort of anchor things though with their giant calming presence.
From this stop, you can do a short 1/4 mile hike up to the top of the North Crater or you can do a longer 1.8 mile trail up to the larger cones. You can probably guess which option I chose, and the North Crater looked like something out of Middle Earth, with just a trail of wooden steps leading to the top of a former volcanic cone that had collapsed in on itself.
As fantastical as the crater may have looked from the bottom, the views from the top were even more unbelievable:
The next stop on the loop drive was the very ominously named Devil’s Orchard. Rather than being a heavy metal band, the Devil’s Orchard is an area of cinder beds made up of fragments of cinder cone that were launched there thousands of years ago in volcanic bursts. This makes for some really unusual and fascinating rock formations that are dotted by stark dying trees that weren’t able to survive there. Even though the bare trees look like they’ve burned by lava, most of them were actually killed by diseases brought by visitors and hikers from before the National Parks Service took over and started working to protect the land and making only very specific areas accessible for hiking. There is a half mile loop trail through the Orchard for you to take in the beautiful natural features and the more haunting man-made decay.
For me the next stop was the big show stopper of the National Monument: the 160 ft. tall Inferno Cone. Standing at the base of this behemoth cone it looks like ashy volcanic sand goes on forever. The vague shape of other hikers in the distance almost looked like a mirage. We did eventually cross paths though and they got a big laugh out of me struggling to make it up the steep loosely packed sand incline, but they promised it was a lot easier going down.
Struggle though it was, the climb to the top of the Inferno Cone was beyond worth it as it’s height gave probably the best panorama over the entire park. It’s incredible how small giant hills can look with enough distance, and I was pleasantly surprised by the sudden addition of reddish hues in the sand at the top to break up the deep dark sootiness of it all.
The thing that left me absolutely awestruck though was the shocking reveal at the very top of the cone that there was just one giant tree positively thriving atop 160 feet of cinders. The persistence and adaptability of life is really astonishing. The roots must go down so deep to keep the tree planted during the winds that can really rage at that height.
The next stop was a small trail up to the Snow Cone. Rather than being a tasty frozen treat, the cone gets it’s name from the fact that it’s got a fissure deep enough to harbor snow and ice just about year round regardless of what the temperatures are at the top. It’s crazy that the the little ball we of snow you can see in my photo might very literally be just the tip of the iceberg.
Just around the corner from the snow cone was a short spiraling trail up the large Spatter Cone. Spatter Cones are formed when big blobs of lava slowly cool on top of one another and gradually coalesce into a large cone. Because of how they’re constructed Spatter Cones have really unusual and lumpy shapes, and the cones in Craters of the Moon are some of the most famous examples of this kind of volcanic formation because of their impressive shape and formations. I have to admit it cuts a pretty amazing figure:
As you climb up to the top of the cone, you’re treated to some of the most varied and colorful rock formations in the park with all kinds of fun lumpy shapes caused by the totally uneven heating and cooling of the lava blobs.
The Last Stop (of my day, there is another trail where many of the lava caves are but that would have required more hiking gear than I thought to bring) was the Big Sink Overlook where you got amazing views of rolling Lava Cascades. The cascades were made by a flowing river of lava getting trapped in the big sink area and slowly congealing and cooling, and that liquid origin is evident in the way it looks like if you froze a flowing rapids in motion.
From the overlook, I hiked up to the very beginning of the Broken Top Trail, which is the largest trail consisting of a 2 mile loop around the rim of a young crater that connects to the 8 mile wilderness trail that goes through the majority of the park that is not accessible by car. I didn’t have 8 miles of hiking in me left, especially if I was going to make the night’s open mic back in Boise so I just took in the views, which really showed off more of the steppe and grassland features of the preserve as opposed to the more volcano-y bits (the scientific term of course). It was really one of the most amazingly otherworldly places I’ve ever been.
After all that nature, I made my way back to the city to get ready for the night’s open mic. I started with some much needed coffee from a trendy spot called Thomas Hammer Coffee Roasters. It was a cool space with some great coffee, and it made for a nice place to sit, do some writing, and recover from all that physical activity today.
To totally undo any health benefits from my day’s hiking, I made my way to 10 Barrel Brewing for lots of beer and pub grub. 10 Barrel started in Bend, OR, but the Boise branch has their own brew-master so while they make all the favorites from OR they also have a lot of freedom to explore and make their own session beers so it still has the vibe of being a local watering hole. It had such a warm and bustling community vibe. They sucked me in right away though, because, true to their name, they offered something I haven’t seen too often: A ten beer flight. It was dangerous and beautiful. The flight I had gave a good breadth of their sampling featuring: a pear cider, a golden ale, their Amber Waves of Grain wheat ale, a coffee brown ale, a Boise Pale ale, an unusual but tasty offering called the Gestatap strong ale, an English Style Extra Special Bitter, a nitro Irish Stout, their flagship Apocalypse IPA, and a very strong Mountain Time Barley Wine. It was a fantastic offering, and I was good and sloshed by the end of it (I blame that dang 10%abv barley wine). I enjoyed all the samples (even the IPAs!) though characteristically, the coffee brown and the Irish Stout were definite front runners. That being said, I think my favorites were actually the wheat ale and that strong ale because they were really well balanced and favorable while also being super sippable. The ESB and the Barleywine get bonus points for having the most unique flavor combinations. To compliment this beer smorgasbord, I went full comfort food and got some rich and creamy bacon filled mac and cheese. My phone died at this point so I don’t have any photos of it, but it probably didn’t last long enough to photograph anyway. It was perfect.
After dinner, I stumbled into a cool open air art gallery called Freak Alley that is a local parking lot and adjoining alley completely decked out in murals by local artists. My phone was still fried, and the murals rotate pretty frequently but luckily the gallery put up some cool photos online that at least give you an idea for why it’s not exactly your average parking lot.
Luckily today’s open mic was at a nice coffee shop called Goldy’s Corner, as opposed to a bar, so I actually got a chance to sit, charge my phone, and sober up a bit with some nice iced coffee before the mic started.
Sadly, in the time since I was in Boise, Goldy’s Mic has come to an end, but they were a cool spot for comics to start with because older comics would run workshops before the mic which I thought was very sweet and helpful for the growth of a scene.
My favorite comic of the night was a guy named Dylan Hunter who told an incredible story about living as a very white teenager in the Caribbean. The longer story was great but I like the simplicity and high-school-ness encapsulated by the line: “The other kids in the Caribbean would call me Virgin Gordo which if you know your Spanish means fat virgin”. Unrelated to that story I also really enjoyed the line: “There are two kinds of uber drivers. People taking advantage of a system where they can work hard and make money in a system that normally doesn't get that opportunity, and suburban dads. The problem with that second group is that there's always something going on in their marriage.”
Other Highlights:
Matthew Ballzell- having a confederate flag is like watching return of the Jedi and then putting 50 dollars down and saying I bet Vader wins.
John Kush- I used to be fat. My First thin milestone was toothpaste falling from my mouth and hitting my dick
Jake Collings- I have a speech impediment so I was preparing for tonight by watching comics with speech impediments. Couldn't understand what the hell they were saying
Reese Samuels- what time do the deer change into elk?
Montana Burke - I grew up in Zimbabwe In Zimbabwe,we don't put a half gallon of clean drinking water in the toilet (He didn’t actually grow up there at all I found out which is probably the funniest part, because he was so straight faced. ).
Vittorio Pellegrino- I have no clue if I'm circumcised or not
My own set went alright, but I was still probably a little tipsy from the big ol’ flight so I can’t say it was it my strongest outing but I didn’t totally suck so that’s a win baby!
Favorite Random Sightings:An insane billboards saying “Your wife called. She said you need a new furnace filter”; Magic Reservoir (how whimsical); a place with the grand name Stardust Plaza that was totally run down; and an unfortunately named cocktail called the Hot Carl
Regional Observations: I don’t know if this is verifiable or not but I feel like I saw a much larger variety of birds while driving through Idaho and they always kept things interesting.
Albums Listened To: Then and Now (1964-2004) by the Who (a fun greatest hits, that makes me want to go back and find full albums); Then Play On by Fleetwood Mac (a very bluesy early version of the band); There’s No Leaving Now by The Tallest Man on Earth (mellow Swedish folk-rock); There’s Nothing Wrong With Love by Built to Spill (Boise locals!); They Came from Boston Vol. 1 by Stray Bullets, the Warning Shots, Duck And Cover, and Blood Stained Brindle (a fun split album from different Boston punks)
People's Favorite Jokes: One from the web-
A woman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”
Songs of the Day:
I dunno why this song always cracks me up
Pretty different, than the more famous incarnations but damn Peter Green was great
for the record, he’s 5’7’’
maybe the only song about Twin Falls Idaho
Good Boston Boys