ID Day 5 - Predators, Prisons, and Pretty Great Eatin’
Today I started out by being productive and finally getting my muffler fixed at the Boise Muffler Shop. When I first took my car to a shop in LA, they said I would need to replace my entire exhaust and that it would cost over $1000, which was a big reason I had been dragging my heels about getting a second opinion. I’m glad I did, because within about 15 minutes they told me that there was just a screw loose which was causing it to rattle, and they just charged me 30 bucks for parts and labor. I was floored by just steep a drop in price and seriousness this turned out to be, and grateful that even a born sucker like me had a bad gut feeling about the LA body shop. When I told the guy in Boise who fixed my muffler, he just laughed and said “Well that’s LA”.
I rewarded my early morning productivity by getting a getting a tasty coffee at a classy spot called the Coffee studio, which had a really nice patio area where I took a quick moment to enjoy the day.
Fueled up, I took my newly silent car to my first stop of the day: The World Center for Birds of Prey. This totally unique spot is the headquarters of the Peregrine Fund and has been located in Boise since 1984 as it was the hometown of one of the chief falconers and researchers. The organization has been instrumental in studying, breeding, and saving endangered birds of prey, and they are responsible for bringing several species back from the brink of extinction! While scientific research and conservation have been their primary focus, they opened a museum and interpretive center to the public as a way to educate people about the birds, provide a way to see rare animals in person, and most importantly raise funds to keep their work going. Importantly unlike a zoo, animals are only held in captivity if they aren’t viable to live in the wild, and the center releases many of their birds when they are full grown and healthy.
It was a great place to visit, because the animals were just incredible and it was nice feeling like my admission was going to a good cause. I started out by going to a live animal demonstration, where one of the conservation experts brought out a raptor (a general name for all birds of prey) to explain what all birds of prey have in common and then to highlight some specifics about the particular feathered friend. To my absolute delight, the live animal who was brought out for demonstrations was an elderly screech owl named Winston who was a total puffball and a bit of curmudgeon. He reminded me of Archimedes from The Sword and the Stone so I was very happy, and also the fact that he had a slight resemblance to his trainer was really icing on top. They were possibly my favorite duo of old friends I’ve ever encountered. Beyond just the charming aesthetics of the talk, the center did a great job of making things fun and informative. On the general side of things, I learned that things that all birds of prey have in common is talons, hooked beaks, and incredible eyesight, and for specifics I loved learning that screech owls don’t actually screech and it was a trait falsely attributed to them but the name just stuck.
Towards the end of the lecture, we were graced with an unexpected special guest in the form of Oliver, the Milky Eagle Owl. Despite being much much larger than Winston, Oliver was barely a year old and still pre-adolescent. He was also a beautiful tawny grey color, and unlike the screech owl his species is incredibly rare despite being incredibly well adapted predators. This is largely due to bigger ecological threats to their habitats, and because sometimes farmers in their native West Africa will kill them to keep them from eating young livestock (if Oliver’s a baby imagine how big they can get). Because he’s still so young, Oliver isn’t normally brought out for crowds because he’s not super used to people nor should he be, but it was just lucky timing that he was passing through during our presentation, and his trainer so clearly loves him that he couldn’t help but get excited to share a little about the guy. My favorite part of the whole visit though was how the largely sleepy Winston immediately perked up when Oliver came in and ran to hide behind his trainer’s head until the bigger guy left. I’d only known Winston for a few minutes but it felt pretty classic.
After the live animal demo, I walked around to the indoor habitats which featured some haws, owls, and falcons. It was relatively early for these guys, many of whom are nocturnal, so they weren’t super active but it’s hard not be impressed by the sheer size and musculature of these flying predators. They’re such incredible examples of evolution and natural grace, while also being wonderful reminders of how lucky we are as humans to (for the most part) not have to worry about threats coming from above because we would not win agains a human sized one of these fellas. Just look at the claws on them!
The rest of the indoor exhibits featured taxidermy specimens to demonstrate the different variations and adaptations across raptor species and informational displays about conservation. The taxidermy was equal parts fascinating and sort of creepy, but the info displays were really amazing. Before the Peregrine Fund began its efforts with its namesake falcon, nobody knew if birds of prey could be successfully bred in captivity without losing their edge on the food chain. Through coordinated efforts and innovative practices like using a hand puppet to simulate falcon mamas so the birds could have relatively normal childhoods in controlled environments, the Fund was able to bring Peregrine Falcons from being extinct in the Eastern US to no longer being on the endangered species list! It’s a really inspirational story of how affective smart people working towards positive goals can be, and hopefully it’s a lesson we learn from as ecology becomes more and more of a global concern.
As cool as everything indoors was, that’s not where birds live and most of the animals in captivity had pens outdoors, especially the bigger guys that required lots of space. Outdoors, they had some really incredible raptors including a bald eagle, vultures, a particularly goofy hawk (probably not it’s scientific name), and from the brink of extinction the massive (and terrifying) Californian Condor. I honestly had thought Condors had gone extinct, so to see one in person was truly stunning. Them and Vultures really do have some of the most grotesque facial features imaginable, but I guess they don’t really care about our approval as long as we don’t destroy where they live.
If even the sight of a cage makes you feel a bit icky, it’s important to note that the center only keeps animals in habitats if that’s the only way to make sure they’re safe. Many of the birds they look after and research are allowed to roam totally free, and they had a list of the wild birds to look out for while you walked the premises.
Which brings me to the landscape. Despite still technically being in Boise, the World Center for Birds of Prey is located at the top of a hill that overlooks 580 acres of mostly wild countryside. There are trails to hike on which I didn’t totally take advantage of, but I couldn’t help but take a few moments to just take in the jaw dropping views all around me.
After seeing all those winged predators, I was inspired to go on the hunt for my own prey of choice: a fantastic local donut from Guru Donuts. Truthfully, donuts hadn’t been on radar, but when I saw their logo and their offerings I was powerless to resist. I sunk my talons into a little seasonal gem called the Java the Hut which featured an espresso cream filling, Nutella frosting, and just a tasteful amount of sprinkles to distinguish it from the Boston Cream Pies. It was totally divine
While the donut had a delicious coffee flavor to it, it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy my need for caffeine so I also stopped by a hip local spot called the District Coffee House for a good strong iced coffee which gave me a nice energy boost to keep exploring and to digest the donut that I had eaten in a disgustingly quick amount of time.
Before setting out for my next stop, I decided to do one more productive thing and get a haircut at a place called 10th Street Barber Shop. It was great! They were friendly and easy to talk to, and my haircut was exactly what I wanted. My favorite part though was watching a little kid inexplicably wearing a suit and trying to be very adult pay realize he didn’t actually have enough money for the haircut he got and running out to find his mom. They were very sweet to let him literally run out of the building and come back, but I just got a kick out of how odd a character the kid was putting on only to be foiled by still very much being a child.
With a more aerodynamic head, I set sail for my next stop of the day: The Old Idaho State Penitentiary. This historic prison kept popping up on lists of Must Sees in Boise, and I didn’t totally get why because I was picturing a tiny Old West Prison. When I got there things immediately made more sense, as this was one of the first (relatively) modern prisons in the country, and rather than a small town jail house it more resembled a medieval fortress. I was suitably impressed from the get-go and happy to visit this museum and it’s really unique blend of history, architecture, social commentary, and even art.
I started the tour of the historic grounds with the Warden’s Office right next to the entrance. I think they did a great job right off the bat here of establishing a non-judgmental tone about the prison and a warts and all look at the justice system by talking about the histories of wardens good and bad. To be fair the job of running a prison seems immensely stressful as it necessitates dealing with day to day challenges that can escalate dramatically to navigating larger more societal concerns about justice and rehabilitation. That being said some men rose to the occasion working to give guards fair pay and prisoners chances for recreation and vocational training, while others were total tyrants over both their employees and their less voluntary charges. While as a human, I’m much happier to hear about the good wardens, the stories of insane and corrupt wardens were much more entertaining reads. There was Charles Van Dorn who was arrested while serving as warden for whacking one of his own guards with a massive set of keys during an argument, but the craziest was a warden names Charles Perrin who tried to fire everybody on his staff. The Board of the Prison told Perrin to either reinstate at least some of the people or resign, but he refused to do both leading to an armed showdown outside his office between him and his replacement. Eventually Perrin gave in, agreeing to leave before things turned to shooting, but saying loudly how this was an outrage. Within weeks, the new warden discovered almost $2000 missing from the prison accounts. Perrin tried to say that that was why he fired everyone in the first place, but he was clearly trying to cover his own tracks and ended up getting arrested for embezzlement. Stories like that, while wild, illustrate how no matter how bad the people in a prison are, a system that doesn’t put honest people in charge of them is pretty broken.
The next exhibit was a timeline of the Prison to give visitors a good general overview of everything they’ll see inside. Again I was impressed at just how matter of fact the historical story-telling was, not shying away from the town and the prison’s more blatant discrimination against people of different races and religions. There were stories about a Chinese man receiving three years of hard prison time for an “over average appetite for chicken” and about the city needing to ask Congress for funding to build a new cellblock because they had just arrested far too many Mormons to be able to house. Stories like that (and of a freakin’ 10 year old being sentenced to prison) really don’t paint the prison or our justice system in a good light, but then you see the case full of smuggled knives and brass knuckles and all the attempts at prison escapes and it really puts you in a moral pickle because even with the horrible abuses of justice there are still some wildly violent people who can’t be around other people. There’s no easy solution to the conundrums of ethically having a prison system, but things like photos and artifacts from the prison baseball team make it seem not so impossible to separate criminals from the rest of the society while still treating them like people and giving them access to activities that allow for better health and socialization so that there’s at least attempts at rehabilitation instead of pure punishment. It’s a messy fascinating timeline, but I give the museum a lot of credit for just laying it all out there. And if I might get on my vaguely socialist soapbox for a moment, you better believe the discriminatory practices were absolutely stoked by economic and political interests of businesses and leaders who didn’t want to compete with Chinese-Americans, Mormons, or anyone for money or votes. The legal system is an extension of our society and our government and while it can seem like such a big thing to fix, one simple way to fix bad laws and bad systems is to vote out bad lawmakers and not support businesses that they have interests in (especially privately owned prisons which are pretty evil as far I am concerned, a bold stance I know). There’s also all kinds of little things like supporting education and mental health initiatives and drug reform that aren’t often marketed as prison reforms but absolutely are. Between my background in psych and some personal run-ins with the law (we’ll get there eventually), it’s an odd soapbox for this little comedian to have but one I’m pretty passionate about.
Back on topic, my favorite thing to learn from the prison timeline was about the surprising wildlife that grew up there. The most legendary animals were Zipper, the toughest cat in Idaho, who lived in the prison for 20 years (!) hunting mice and visiting prisoners in solitary confinement, and Champ, a prized bullfrog that sat in the prison pond and would eat sparrows whole! Weird and wild details like that (complete with photos and drawings) are the kinda odd slice of life facts that I love stumbling upon in niche museums like this. Plus just look at how fat Champ is, it’s incredible.
What I wasn’t expecting as I left the two entrance galleries and walked into the main prison yard was the fact that it was sort of beautiful on the inside. I loved all the stonework in the architecture, and in the years since it’s been a prison they’ve cultivated really lovely gardens throughout the premises. Some of the gardens were part of the working prison but most were added later for visual flair and a sense of morbid irony in the case of the rose garden where the outdoor gallows used to be. It made for an oddly pleasant stroll and even the ugliest part of the grounds, a demolished lot, is actually intentionally left this way because of the historical relevance. The ruins are of the dining hall and a cell block that were burned down in riots that occurred in 1973 from prisoners demanding more livable conditions than this old old building could provide. The riots actually ended up being successful, and the penitentiary was shut down and prisoners were moved to more modern facilities.
Of the buildings that were still standing, they all had various galleries displayed within them so it was fun walking around and never quite knowing what you were going to learn about when you entered a place. I picked a building at random and ended up starting morbidly enough with solitary confinement, which the Prisoners called Siberia because the tiny 3 ft. by 8 ft. cells were like ice boxes. It really seems like it would have been hellish to spend even a short time there let alone a full year as some of the worst offenders (or just offenders who really pissed off the guards did). A lot of the prisoners who spent long bouts in there ended up committing suicide or totally breaking from reality, which is testament to just how awful solitary can be despite sometimes being thought of as a humane alternative to the death penalty. While the absolute most violent people in the world probably need isolation, cells this small are a form torture pure and simple. On a slightly more lighthearted note, I did like seeing the different drawings and games prisoners doodled and scratched on the walls in Siberia because it’s sort of oddly comforting to see people still being people even in the most extreme conditions.
The next exhibit was an unexpected and absolutely fascinating look at the world of prison tattoos, something I really had never thought about. Prison tattoos have existed almost as long as prisons and serve many different functions ranging from innocent like simple self-expression to more sinister such as markers of gang affiliation or of having killed somebody. It was interesting to see how certain tattoo motifs had gained cross-cultural prominence such as spiderwebs representing time-served while others are very culturally specific. Tattooing while in prison, despite its prominence, is actually illegal and the museum’s collection of homemade contraband tattoo kits was both impressive and sort of disturbing. Thankfully inmates now are more aware of the necessity of sterilization and have factored that in, but during the heights of the AIDS crisis it was a real danger and concern within prisons. Tattooing is a pretty ancient practice so the fact that prisoners figure out how to do it at all isn’t super surprising, but I was stunned that some people figured out to Macgyver electric tattoo guns out of disparate parts and that there is a way to make a serviceable tattoo ink out melted plastic spoons and toothpaste. Personally I think all that creativity and brainpower could be put to better use, but it’s still impressive nonetheless. I also really cracked up at the last line of the museum’s little note about Yakuza prison tattoo culture: “Not everyone with tattoos in Japan is a gangster”
The next exhibit served to both look at the evolution of photography and mugshots as well as highlight several inmates of note. It’s crazy to me that we have mugshots dating back as far as 1900. The timeline makes sense, but I guess I just never thought about it until I saw some up close. The most famous inmates the Penitentiary ever had were Harry Orchard, who had murdered a Governor, and Lyda Southard who was one of the first recorded female serial killers in America. My personal favorite, based purely on the mugshot, was Alfred Roberts a musician who was caught forging checks and was described at the time as having “a very Frenchy way about him” which I really enjoyed. I was most bummed out by Cora Stanfield, who served 9 months in prison for adultery despite being legally separated from her husband. She was given a pardon which is great, but adultery is still technically a crime in Idaho which is a whole lot less great (even if it’s not really enforced, it’s kind of icky and moralizing to have on the books).
Next up was the Trusty Dorm where the inmates who were deemed the most trustworthy were allowed to stay and enjoy a bit more relative freedom. I’m sure all the other inmates just loved those guys, and that system never created any conflicts.
Next was the multi-purpose room which had actually been built by the inmates and served various vocational and recreational functions over the years including a shirt factory, a shoe shop, a bakery, a license plate shop, the laundry, and a hobby room. It also housed the communal showers. It was nice to see the prison embracing a bit more modern practices by allowing prisoners to work, learn skills, and have leisure activities. My favorite things here was the system inmates devised to find missing socks, and a sign that said “No Sitting on Mangle Tables” because I’m just shocked that mangle table is the correct term for anything.
The next room was a bit of an unexpected surprise because it really had nothing much to do with prison at all, and instead housed an expansive collections of weapons through the ages. This massive collection, one of the largest assemblages of historic arms and military memorabilia in the nation, was donated to the museum by a wealthy local collector named J. Curtis Earl after he passed away. This isn’t my usual area of interest, but I couldn’t help but be impressed by the size and scope of this collection. There were firearms from every major United States war ranging from primitive muskets to much more advanced automatic rifles. Not everything was US focused though, and one of the oldest firearms in collection was an early hand mounted cannon from the Philippines called a Lantaka. I liked the older items more, because they tended to be more aesthetic with engravings along their barrels, but either way it was cool to see how the technology developed over time.
In terms of curation, I thought the most impressive thing about the firearm collection was the reconstruction of WWI era trenches, which helped put any fascination with the weaponry in the context of how terrifying it actually was to have to use them. The other big highlight for me was a mighty imposing original gatling gun from 1883, which when it was invented in 1861 was the first semi-automatic weapon ever developed. It’s inventor had hoped that it would reduce the size of armies and therefore actually reduce casualties in war. Whoops.
More so than the firearms, I really enjoyed the collection’s focus on swords and other hand to hand weapons. I think there was just much more artistic and cultural variation in their shapes and styles which appealed more to me than pure military history. I especially liked the more intricate etching and engraving work in the scabbards and handles than the actual blades themselves though the wavy blades of Filipino Moro swords and the the Arab yataghan blades with Quran verses on them were pretty cool to look at.
The most surprising and coolest part of the collection was just how many items the museum had from the Bronze Age, marking some of the very earliest forms of modern military arms. It’s sad that it went toward warfare, but the fact that people developed these technologies when they did really is amazing. I suppose that sentence could probably be applied to just about any advancements in technology though.
I think my absolute favorite thing in the whole exhibit, which says a lot about me, was a sarcastic little poem that soldiers liked to pass around during WWI to vent their various discontments through verse.
From there it was on to the incredibly imposing Maximum Security building, which was the most modern cell block.
This block was really spooky and had exhibits about all the confiscated weapons found there, and the various inmates that had been placed on death row. Even the barbershop had to be moved to a place where guards could better supervise it for fear of the grooming tools being put to more violent use. For the most part it was understandably pretty bleak stuff, but there was at least one bright spot highlighting the importance of vocational and educational services in prison in the form of display about John Curtis Sorenson. He was arrested at 19 for robbery, but got his G.E.D in prison and then went on to be a computer operator for Boeing. It’s a nice illustration of the potential for people to turn their lives around provided their given the options and the structures to do so.
For the opposite of optimism, you could also visit the gallows and the observation chamber which was beyond morbid. The idea of wanting to watch an execution just gave me the willies, but (hopefully) this was the only chance I’d have to see one up close so it was still very interesting.
Luckily in terms of a palette cleanser, it was great to know that some inmates at least never lost their senses of humor, and I really love that the museum kept this true piece of art up.
After busting out of jail, I went back to downtown Boise to sample more Basque food, while I had access to such a large community. I enjoyed just walking around the Basque block, and somehow managed to bump into a family from Hingham a small MA suburb right next to my own. They happened to be in Boise because their son’s college was playing against Boise State University. What a wild coincidence, that we would both be here let alone bump into one another.
It was still a little early for dinner, and I was still processing my donut but I couldn’t resist getting a little appetizer from the Basque Market. I ordered off their Pintxos Menu, which is like Basque tapas, and got some absolutely fantastic paella rolls. These consisted of chicken, chorizo, and seafood mashed up with rice, veggies, and seasoning and all wrapped up in a thin crunchy shell. It was such a delicious blend of flavors and textures, and I couldn’t have been happier with my choice.
After my snack, I went to refuel and write for a bit at a place called Flying M Coffee House which had great coffee, friendly baristas, comfy seating, and all sorts of weird and funky local art. Basically everything I could hope for in a coffeeshop.
After getting some work done for a bit, I was ready to commit to a full dinner. I went to a place called Fork, which was one of the most recommended spots in the city for classy/casual dining. Who should leaving the restaurant as I walked in, but the family from Hingham again! They all got a big kick out of it, and recommended that I try the cubano sandwich when I got in there. Who was I to not let fate take the wheel, so I ordered the cubano (sans mustard though, because I’m still me) which had beautifully tender roasted pork loin and pulled pork carnitas with local cheese all melted and pressed together in a homemade panini. It was a superb sandwich (much much better than my photo), complimented wonderfully by whipped Idaho mashed potatoes liberally doused in butter. To wash this feast down, I had a Persephone Porter from Barbarian Brewing which was an excellent addition to the whole feast. I was stuffed but I was happy.
After the meal, I made my way to a cool little dive bar called Barley Pub for the night’s open mic. I got there way too early, but it was okay because I got to bond with a sweet but very drunk older woman about old movies. She did get a little salty at me for not having seen They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?. This might be one of the only times that movie has been so vehemently defended in a dive bar in Boise, but I have to admit she did make a pretty strong case for it and I do really want to see it now.
Once the other comedians started rolling in, the night picked up considerably. It was good to see familiar faces from earlier in the week and to joke around a bit before things started. I had been a little weary when it was just me and my new friend at the bar, but as it got closer the place ended up filling up nicely for a very solid open mic.
Some cool things about this mic were that the comic that had the best set at the end of the night could win some money, and we also had some comics visiting from Portland to do some time before their headlining gigs later in the week. Unfortunately I missed the big headliner (who I’d see later in the week and can attest is very funny) Coor Cohen, because I was working out some logistics with producer, Mundek, about a potential paid hosting gig later in the week.
I did get to see Coor’s boyfriend, another very funny Portland comic, named Riley Fox who went on right before her, and he my favorite set of the night. Some individual lines that really killed me were: “If you see someone riding a bike in the south, you know it's a DUI” and “Cracker Barrel is like if T.G.I. Friday's fought for the confederacy”
Other Highlights:
Hailee Lenhart-Wees - I thought I was a lesbian because I liked wearing Comfortable clothes
Derek Hayden- I had to leave California because there was a drought and I don't want to feel guilty about masturbating in the shower
Tyler Hatch- I want to open up a Fondue store called Fondubitably
Montana Burk- I asked a girl out just so I can have someone to eat Olive Garden with. There’s nothing sadder than eating Olive Garden alone
Cayden McKnight- it sounds a lot better to say I volunteer at the humane society because it's better than saying I'm finishing my community service
Christopher - I was recently cast in the titular role in the major blockbuster Fucknado (said with the straightest of straight faces)
It was a really fun night, and my own set went pretty well though one joke I did about couples just made the couples in the audience squirm a bit which was very funny for me but maybe meant the bit was too close to home without being funny enough. The comic that won the best set was solid, but probably not as strong as a lot of the other local comics, but he had brought the most people who had in turn all voted for him. That’s not such a bad thing though, because him bringing all those folks meant all the other comics had a better crowd to work with so hopefully they all had a fun night and he got a little confidence boost and it will snowball into more good shows for the scene.
Favorite Random Sightings: Grand Theft Auto Car Dealer (A very bold business name); Bogus Basin (no clue); LunchBOX Wax: We also wax Adam's apples (the business does Brazilian waxes, but their efforts to use euphemisms are just sort of strange); this bit of dialogue on the street- Dad:"Do you remember geometry?" Child: "No"
Regional Observations: Locals pronounce Boise like “boy-see” and the common outsider pronunciation of “Boy-zee” like what I kept saying is a dead giveaway that you’re not from the area
Albums Listened To: Telephone Free Landslide Victory by Camper Van Beethoven (their first album and probably my favorite); Ten by Pearl Jam (just Even Flow); The Ten (Film Soundtrack) by Cast of the Ten (just the sublimely silly closing musical number); Thanks! by Sammy Kay (a fun mix of demos and bootlegs released as a thank you for donating to his kickstarter); That Thing You Do! by Various Artists (a underrated gem of a movie); That’s Cool… In a totally Negative and Destructive Way by Kill Lincoln (just Wake, Wait, Repeat which I got from one of various punk samplers from a concert).
People’s Favorite Jokes: I actually got one from a really sweet barista today, but it does require some knowledge of basic Spanish:
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.
"Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the saleswoman.
"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the saleswoman.
"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the saleswoman.
"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the saleswoman probed.
"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the saleswoman, beginning to lose patience.
"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the saleswoman.
Songs of the Day:
A Classic
I love this guy. He makes good music, and he’s been real nice to my sister and me. Buy his music!
This truly couldn’t make much less sense if you haven’t seen this fun, goofy, uneven movie